Saturday, April 18, 2009

no need to hide anything anymore

so i have no choice right now but to blog. its 5:43 AM and i am WIDE awake. WTFFFFFFFFFF. seriously, i want to punch whoever is playing music so loudly in an apartment complex where you have neighbors. and they are like..playing drums too. WHO DOES THAT? ksdfnskdfjnds. ok anyway, so i'm alive, i'm awake. i would say i'm well but i'm not sure i am.

i have been having so many thoughts lately. about everything. school, work, love, life. i always feel like i'm talking so much, but then i realize it's just to myself. is that wrong? haha. i live in my head way too much. i'm listening to anberlin "breathe" and it's kind of a depressing song, but it's not meant to be. idk. i am so confused as to where i'm going. i don't really know what i'm doing. i think i just need summer to be here. i need a vacation to somewhere farrrrr away. that....or i need to move. this is the longest i've been in one place for awhile now and i'm pretty much ready for a new one. ...

anyway.....i don't know what the point of this blog was. i could write alot but i just don't want to.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

that girl's a trick

so i feel like a total amateur after reading kristen's 600th blog. whoaaa. though I do have 2 other blogs, they still don't add up to 600. that's insane. i wish i was more dedicated to this.

i got almost 10 hours of sleep last night and i have to say it was amazing. i got so stressed from sunday and monday that i actually got sick monday morning. it was notttt good. i'm glad midcourt for alpha kappa psi is over, it honestly wasn't that bad. Justin told me today he thought I did the best, and not to tell anyone. haha. That's awesome. But really...that surprises me. What else? Oh so I got sick yesterday during my sociology exam, and then during my calc exam. I think I did fine in socy, but calc...fucking fuck fuck fuck. I am probably going to fail...for the second time. I don't know what to do, seriously. I had all these plans to do the homework and study and call some people to help me study, but I just got too preoccupied with other crap I had to do, and calc just never came into the picture. Not good.

Today was a little better I guess...lab went fine...and I have Business Law tonight. I spend the afternoon watching a few episodes of one tree hill i missed. always good. i want to go shopping and i want to go to the gym. and i want to never have to do schoolwork again, but that's not going to happen. this weekend is the pledge trip. we found out on sunday that we're going to the beach. don't know what one though...i hope it's nice. but i know we're not just going to be laying out which is my that kind of sucks lol i hope its still fun though.

i watched an episode of this lame ass show called candy girls today and its about music video girls...bleh. so dumb. why can't i ever concentrate? i'd rather watch stupid reality shows than do my work....i need like my mom to take away my computer/cell phone/internet. that's how bad it is. lol. i have no discipline, i've just come to this conclusion. oh well. i'll work on it.

well i can't think of anymore cool stories.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

addictions are just bad habits

i'm listening to a rocket to the moon and wondering why he is playing in every city except for mine. wtf? for real. not that i'd go anyway because no one i know likes good music!!!!!!! and when i say good music i mean rock/emo bands that play at tremont and amos.

i have to say i completely agree with kristen on her last blog. emotions make me feel awkward. other people showing their emotions to in crying in front of me. i feel helpless when it comes to these situations as well. kristen, you have made me cold hearted! lol jk. but yeah sooo..last night was girls night out for akpsi and we went to danielle's parents lake house, which by the way, is really fucking sweet. so we all just talked and played this lame but fun gossip girl never have i ever game, and made bath salts, (pretty neat). then we watched sex and the city movie. definitely a girls night. i was exhausted by the end. i came home and went straight to bed.

today i have to work again and i am dreading it as usual. my boss is such a bitch. i don't even want to get into it.

can i also say how shitty school is? i hate hate hate hate school. i don't mind class, just the work. i am pissed cause i got a 72 on my second business comm test and i got a 90 on the first one, and i studied exactly the same way i did the first. WTF? FML. don't you love the...symbols...what are they called? acronyms? idk. whatever. i need to workout.....

follow me on twitter.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

dsklfd holy effing crap

theres so much i seriously want to wriite but im too impatient to get it all down right now and also i have to leave for an adivisng appt which i'm not excited about. so to wrap it up in a few sentences:

a. i am getting a haircut today finally
b. my roommate stormed out of my room last night after saying that i don't pay enough attention to what she says, and for the most part i'm doing something on my computer while shes talking. if u really know me, u know i can't multi talk.if you have something important to say or are wayyyy over sensitive, make sure u sit me down face to face to tell me. sorry.
c. yeah so after storming out she text me and said she won't be talking to me until i'm as nice to her as i am my other two roommates? um...ok? lol wow ridic.
d. i am stressed out with school. FML i want to be DONEEEEEEEEEE.
e. sinus headaches suck ass
f. i am addicted to twitter now.
g. i went to az for spring break and will elaborate more on how fun it was later
h. i'm running out of things on the top of my head so i'll stop here

well that rant was fun, i will be updating later in detail. sdkfndufhdsufhds

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

you make breaking hearts look so easy

so once again i disappoint on the blog writing. i'm sorry kels! should i have known you were looking for an update i would have written sooner. maybe. haha but anyway--

the days have gone by so quickly i can't even believe it. i counted down from 45 to now be down to 3 days until spring break, and i get to go to az to see cody again. crazy. a few minor things have occurred in the past few weeks. i am pledging for a fraternity. i know, right? weird. unbelievable. but its not your typical fraternity, obviously, because i wouldn't be allowed in one, hence, i'm a girl. anywho, its alpha kappa psi, a professional business fraternity that is co-ed. i'm excited, and i'm meeting a lot of nice people. there's no bullshit attached in this fraternity, and i like that about it, so we'll see. alsoooo, i got a tattoo. i know, exciting. its on my right foot, and it says "let it be" if you're special, you know what this is about, if not then too bad. haha. i'm happy with it though. also umm...i don't know. yesterday we had a snow day and that was nice. we got about 4 or so inches of snow. its so pretty and it makes me feel at home!! on sunday i went to the jesse mccartney concert with my sister and her friend stefanie. it was awesome!!!!!!! of course. lol we were so close to him and i fell in love all over again haha. oh i'm such a dork.

nothing else much is going on that i feel i should write about. i'll try and write again sometime soon...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

road to redemption

i'm actually laying in bed watching TI's road to redemption....why? i'm not sure. though its interesting. i'm glad i don't have to hustle..but the money tempts me. (kidding).

so i have had a sore throat now for 2 days and that sucks. i'm pissed i'm getting sick the weekend before i have 5 tests. that would happen to me though.

today is valentines day so woo hoo happy valentines day. its another saturday to me so i'm not all too excited. my valentine is 2000 miles away. oh well....its a hallmark holiday anyway. cody sent me a cute card and chocolate and starbucks card, etc. very sweet. only 20 days til i see him! what else....uh...i've been working out alot and i'm really mad because i don't feel like i'm getting much smaller....and that's irritating. the weather in charlotte has been crazy lately. like last week it snows and then all this week was like 75 out. it made me want summer to be here. i don't have much else to say right now...

Monday, January 26, 2009

feel good drag

well what do you know? i'm finally deciding to write. i have alot on my mind, but my fingers will only let so much out. so for what its worth, here is a summary of whats going down in my world.

i have started school, and surprise surprise, it sucks. no luck there. however, my one class, sociology of gender, is interesting. i just hope i fucking pass calc and acct 2. anyway...

i just got back from arizona this past tuesday and it was absolutely amazing. i had so much fun and i didn't want to leave. being with cody for those few days made my life so much better, and that much harder, knowing it wouldn't last. he took me all around tucson and i saw just about everything he's ever talked about. i experienced the goodness of eegee's, nico's, and in-n-out burger. so that was cool. we saw my bloody valentine 3D. freaky. we played wii, went out on his dad's quad, went to church, an icecats game, and some other stuff. i was just happy to be with him. this is my life in a quote:

"As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."- lucas scott.

yeah its from one tree hill. its good though.

so back to reality. i went bowling on friday with ashlee, kendrick, amanda, and some other people. it was some GCF. (good clean fun) we went to eat dinner at applebees first, then to dave and busters. i'd never been there before, and i liked it. i got a shot glass with my tickets i won in the arcade.

i have some more to say but i'll save it for a rainy day.

go listen to anberlin's "feel good drag." its my song of the night.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

i'm a nervous wreck, i'm a nervous wreck!

i have an issue. i cannot ever do anything i want to do. like seriously if i was anyone else i would hate me. i guess i shouldn't say can't ever, or never, do anything i want to do, or say i want to do, it just doesn't happen the way i see it in my head. why does this occur? i'm not really sure. i blame others, such as God, and say he is punishing me, but i am fully aware it's just me. ha. i was thinking about blogging and how i will get on here and write ok its been forever, i'm sooo gonna write every day now. yeah.....that doesn't happen. why? i don't know. i have moods. i would love to get on here, but somehow i'm doing other mindless things. whatever. another thing...exercise. check that off the list today, but a handful of other random days i didn't when i could have. and lastly, homework/studying. this is more so understandable but still a stupid thing on my part. and if anyones reading this saying yeah it is your fault, you're dumb and should do better in school instead of fucking around online and watching tv, then fuck you. seriously. you're the one reading this blog instead of being productive. ANYWAY, i'm perfectly aware of my productivity levels, as well as my capabilities and my utilizing them is my business. so.

today is my brothers birthday and he's 19. happy birthday.

i got my haircut today and it needed it bad, but of course i still think i look bad, there's a realllllly short layer in the back and its slightly mullet-ish. hair grows. so i don't care. i also went to walmart and got the edward poster...again, because i bought it once when i was in maryland last week and i left it there because once again i'm an idiottt. by the way, happy new year. see i totally suck at keeping up with this. 8 days late already! jeez....

i went home to maryland last tuesday..the 30th...and came back saturday. it was fun. mostly saw kristen and ash and kels. and heather on new years. good times, good times. i really miss my "high school friends" i still feel like they are the only people who really, really know me. blahh. everytime we get together it feels like yesterday. we do all the same things we did when we were 12, and its awesome. so it was a nice trip.

to remind myself later on, i'm going to mention now my resolutions...
1. be more patient
2. lose a million pounds (haha jk, just go to the gym every day..or almost every day)
3. eat better
4. be on time
5. get decent grades....this is a life or death situation
6. be more original

seriously, i'm sooo lame. i'm sorry for anyone reading this. if i were you i would have stopped a long time ago. today my dad made me go out in the driveway and shovel dirt back into the ground from nasty muddy tire tracks i made in the neighbors yard. it sucked cause it was kinda cold, and like super windy.

one last creepy thing. i was driving home from walmart and this middle age...maybe late 20's...early 30's...weird indian or mexican or i don't know what the fuck he was, anyway, he kept driving at the same speed next to me and STARING at me and smiling it was so fucking weird, i looked at him back and just like grinned with my eyebrows up, you know, the "yea hi go away" look. and he didn't stop. then i was about to turn off the road and he fucking honked his horn when he was going by just to get my attention and smiled again. ugh dude, so not cool. yeah that's my life.