ohh i wish that i was looking into your eyes

its been two days and i hate school already. i'm going to make this short and sweet. i'm listening to katy perry "thinking of you" aw i love it. anywho i am stressed. my classes are hard. i'm going to have to try. which is not good. i have to work, workout, and manage this thing called life, which after almost 4 months of summer is going to be a pretty big task. i liked kelsey's blog point about summer being a weekend of the year, it is. and also why people freak over summer flings and love and blah blah. why can't everything just flow and be how it is and fall into place when its supposed to. i also agree about the ipod shuffle fate. yeah sometimes i do think that certain songs come on for a reason but it depresses me and i usually just change it haha. but yea i don't know. i don't want to think about how things will be in the future i can't imagine it sometimes but it will come and that's it. tonight at work it was only three of us- me, christina and one of the managers sandy and it was her last day so we got dairy queen and just basically stood around the store the whole time and talked. it was actually a good night there for once. its also monsooning out and so i've gotten soaked about 4 times today. ugh. i like rain, but only when i'm laying in bed watching and/or listening to it. this park down the street that cody and i played catch at the last week is completely flooded and looks like a pond. its really weird to see it like that. the soccer goals are like floating in it. i wonder if class will get cancelled for flooding....hmm..yeah right. i'm going to bed. i have to get up at 8. fuck.

i'm so annoying

so i'm creepy obsessed with this song called what if by safetysuit. and yes i heard it on the hills but i don't care. so everybody who reads this go download that song!! oh its amazinggggggg. ok anyway, once again i got cut tonight from work so i'm even more poor. i got harassed by some of our new neighbors. its kinda scary when u go up stairs and have a herd of drunk guys say "stop! you can't go any further. turn your ass around and get in that apartment right there." umm...what do you say to that..."no thanks i'd rather be blogging?" oh no, you awkwardly laugh and say hah um oh i live right there maybe later...bye...so that was cool. oh and apparently tonight when i was at my parents house i broke the tredmill...i mean damn i didn't think i was that big, but my dad was like STOP and i couldn't hear him cause my ipod was so loud but he was yelling that the motor was about to blow up so that's great but really the tredmill is sort of old and its had alot of use so eff it, thats so not my fault if its making weird sounds now. whatev. well....aw i miss my friends at home. love you guysss.. good luck to kels and her blog, inspired by me..and heather too i suppose. hah. awesome. okay i'm going to watch college road trip. (yea that movie with raven) PEACE

the 7 things i hate about...life

so i'm listening to some old school copeland and talking on aim being a loser. i havent written in so long but i need to start again. it needs to be a habit because...i said so. and i am so amused by other people's blogs i have to keep the trend going. also heather said she was just inspired to start one because of me and the title of her blog is even like mine so i'm really flattered. anywho...
its august and that means school starts monday. thank god i am in a new apartment with wonderful people so you would think things could only be looking up right now...but no, its my life which means something has to go wrong every 5 seconds. last week it was getting a flat tire on the way to the soundtrack to your summer tour so i missed the maine and i was beyond pissed. this week i got hours cut at work which means i'm poorer, along with fantastic news about someone important to me moving far, far away. and to top it all off 1/5 of my family left, aka JR went off to college. how brave of him to actually leave farther than 10 minutes from our parents house. kudos. its all very bittersweet. i need a new hobby. oh well okay let me recap on the rest of summer..just got back from nj for the reunion that was fun. then ct to see grandparents, also great. and of course visiting the godparents in pa. we rafted down the delaware river. woo hoo. i also went home to md in june for a week which i don't know if i got to mention when i wrote last. thats really all the excitement i have going on right now. i need to pick up my parking pass and get books...ughhhh

what the eff

so im sure a MILLION and a half things have changed since i wrote. ive been anti social. well anti blog. i dont know why. i tell k to blog and i dont even write in my own. i guess thats sort of wrong. i should practice what i preach huh? ok lets see. im done school for summer. i now work at ann taylor factory and my old job and still nannying. i have cody. i went to florida for a week. im going home next week (md). people are still calling me psycho and crazy. thats always awesome. umm.what else? i passed accounting (fucking sweet). well i dont know much else. things are good. prettyyy good. oh yeah and i just chopped all my hair off the other day. starting fresh.

embarassing stuff

so really, i'm embarassed i haven't written in so long. it's kinda sad. really sad actually. its taken me like an hour to read all kristens new blogs and those are the recent ones too. its lame that i actually have an hour to read her blogs. but its okay because they are entertainment for sure and i get a good laugh out of them too. so sex and candy just came on my itunes, and these lyrics make me laugh. sooooooo

updates on my life:

1. winter break is over and it was nice. i went to md. that was really awesome.
2. this semesters classes suck for me
3. i haven't quite made or followed my new yrs resolutions or lent..things

ok speaking of which i don't know what i'm going give up...i have an idea. and damnit i just wrote a bunch and my keyboard was gay and deleted it. fuck. ok anyway so what was i saying? oh yea i have been having a realization..an epiphany if you will, that the saying, good things come to those who wait may be true. or partially. i got a chi pro dryer and a flat iron worth around 300 bucks for FREE at work. yea farouk systems sent them to us. so that was cool. and i just won $350 bucks for selling alot of kenra. how fucking awesome is that? yeah i thought so too. i need money, i'm poor. so those are good things among others that won't be mentioned but we'll see....because you know truth and time tells all. thank you justin bobby.

uhh..i don't know what else is new...the semester is going by pretty fast. i want to go somewhere for spring break but the thats highly unlikely. whatever. peace out.

my life and jesse mccartney

It isn't a crime to want
A little space to breathe
But you will be fine, the sun again will shine
On you
Whatever you do

Take your sweet, sweet time
Cause I'll be here, when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

I'm feeling you pull away
'Cause letting go isn't easy for me
But you'll never fly
With someone else's wings, I know
Wherever you go

Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here, when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

I will never stand in your way
Wherever your heart may lead you
I will love you the same
And I will be your comfort everyday
Do you hear the words I say?

Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

Oh, I'll be here, for you
I will be here

last christmas

i wanted to announce that last christmas is my favorite christmas song. i love all the versions of it too. anyway, life is just peachy.

so this is how it feels

to feel your heart break.

i love awkwardness

so i was reading k's blog and she wrote that she loves awkwardness. which just got me thinking. ha. awkwardness. i mean, it is what it is, you know? so why can't things just be? awkward or not..you'll get over it. and if you don't then that's obviously your own problem. you can't just tell people that something is going to be awkward when you aren't even there yet. because who knows? maybe it won't be. everything in life is only what you make it out to be. so if you want to continue to dwell on something, that's your own fault. shit happens and then you move on and learn from it. you shouldn't have to keep thinking my life is only like this because i did it to myself. no screw that, sure you did it but its over..done. enough, let's move on and stop thinking about what other people might say or feel about it. if they're losing sleep over it...wow. now obviously this whole rant is stemming from something in my own life that is annoying the shit out of me but there's not a whole lot i can personally do according to someone who thinks they know everything there is to know. its hard to talk to a brick wall. know what i'm sayin? its even harder to talk to that wall if you love it. so.

this week has been..eh. i have two tests next week and that's going to suck. but then thursday i fly out to phily for my cousin's wedding. that'll be a nice little getaway for once. and um...yeah i still need to get an outfit for that. its on my list of things to do this weekend. i just haven't got there yet. there's alot of things i haven't gotten around to yet. how does that happen? time flies when you're doing nothing. haha. so true though. i can't wait for thanksgiving to go home to md. hopefully at least. well i'm going to attempt to be productive now.

this is not what i had in mind..

well since tuesday night things have sucked and are still sucking. i can't even think of anything else to say right now. i'm just going to wait it out i guess. i hate that it has come to this so quickly.

so, its a sunday.

I am sitting at Devlin's desk in his room, on his computer, while he takes a shower. I love this keyboard I am tying on, not just because I bought it for him for his birthday but it types like really smooth and quiet..and it lights up blue, its really neat. Anyway,

This weekend I didn't do much. It was my Dad's birthday Friday so of course I was at home, then I kind of just stayed at my house this weekend because no one was around. I went shopping with my mom last night and I got some new sperry's and a pair of adidas shorts...fun. I was thinking about stuff to write about that would be interesting or funny but for some reason nothing is coming to mind right now. Well, today I went through the car wash at shell and this really fat lady in an old corolla was in front of me going and for the life of her she could not figure out how to get her tires aligned on the conveyer and it was hilarious watching her go back and forth trying, but finally she got it, and also forgot to put her car in neutral so genius there had a hard time to say the least. That was pretty entertaining.

I can't wait for November because I'm going to Philly for my cousins wedding, plussss Dane Cook the weekend after is going to be so much fun. Andd hopefully I'm going home to MD for thanksgiving so that'll be cool too if that happens. So yeah thats about it.

2 things

ok,

1- k, stop writing freakishly about ben your earth science teacher, thats weird...and creepy. i may email him the link to your blog if you continue....(ahah scared ya)

2- if you have a facebook, look me up and take my lame quiz called are you smarter than a 14th grader? get it? if grades kept going, i'd be in the 14th grade....

anyway the whole ben thing with k, yeah that is interesting, sounds like a cool teacher..i guess. i like that he eats sandwiches with a knife and fork, i'll have to try that. whats with earth science teachers being young and kinda weird? mine likes to be called by his first name too...and is a really huge dork, but not as weird as ben...

alright so anyway i just painted my nails and it pisses me off so bad that i suck at it and another finger or something always touches another and messes up at least one and i'm too lazy to fix it. today is friday and its my dads birthday, i need to go to target to get him a present and then drop a movie off and get a new one. thats about it. thats my day really. not exciting.

is it weird to put post it notes on my calendar of when the season premiere of certain shows are on? everyones making fun of me!! oh well. gotta go!

how about.....

you shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business. haha. :)

(not you reading this)

honeycomb is actually good....

me want honeycomb. not. haha. but really, kristen wrote about how she was eating a bowl of it while a sweaty man attempted to fix her tv and it just made me think about how much i obsessed over eating honeycomb every morning this past august. so...yeah. its good. i never thought i would like it, mostly because that little weird yellow dude is so creepy looking, i never thought i could possibly like a cereal that he liked. anyway....

today was sooooo nice in charlotte. it finally wasn't 526 degrees outside. i wanted to like go hiking on a nature trail or something, you know those kinds of days? well i didn't go hiking, but i watched alot of msnbc cold case files or whatever those things are. its a shitty world out there for some.

dev and i went to my house for dinner tonight and we had steaks. yummo. haha. i'm mad because we have tried twice ordering these stupid bmw emblems for my car that go in the middle of the wheel because they got stolen at the concord mills mall one day. (yeah, note to self, don't drive your bmw to the concord mills mall because homewrecking dumbcrap idiotic retard will steal your emblems!!!!!!) and anyway, they haven't fit my stupidest car, we ordered them twice, first ones were too small and plastic so we ordered the expensive real ones from the dealer and they stiiiiiiiiiiilll don't fit. lame. lame. and more lame. know what else is lame? school. and lastly? people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. but whatev, whatev. i still pretty much love my life. even when it could be better.

a long time coming

so i havent written since the beginning of summer and that was a long time ago, or so it seems. so anyway, summer in a nutshell was pretty good i guess. it sucks being in charlotte though...i wish i got to spend it with everyone from home..but sometimes things just don't happen the way you want them to. i did get to go to md though and it was a fun few days. good times and all. i went to florida for a week and i hadn't been there for three years so it was awesome seeing all my family. the day i got back from fl i left with dev for the outer banks. i'd never been there before and it was so beautiful. i had fun meeting his family and going to the beach although the water there was freezing. we set off fireworks at night on the beach and chased crabs with flashlights..that was like the thing to do out there. but yeah...um. summer was relaxing to say the least.

now school is started back up and we've been in class for the past 2 weeks. not too bad...yet. i'm in an apartment now. it's lovely, however, i feel like things aren't going to workout here for some reason...and its expensive...blah there are a lot of things running through my mind. i will stay here the rest of the year of course, but next year, with my house being so close and me being so poor i don't think taking out a loan just to live away from my parents is going to be in my best interest. we'll see. because you know, truth and time tells all. hah. had to throw that in there. anywho, um. i'm obsessed with tegan and sara now. listen to the con, its amazing. hmm..

i wonder why one persons life has to affect someone else's so much. you know like why other people give a shit about what i'm doing and my business with my relationships. people who know me understand that i don't regret staying in on weekends. don't get me wrong, i don't mind going out sometimes, i don't. but i don't like being judged for my personal decisions on how i want to live my life. i'm well aware of what i'm doing, what i'm getting into, where i'm going...and i don't have a problem with it. specifically speaking, some people seem to dislike the fact that i spend alot of time with my boyfriend. God forgive me for having the most amazing relationship. i mean really...i don't know. but i do know that i takewhat people say about me or to me, way to personally..so maybe instead of writing all of this shit i should just think to myself, fuck you.

ride for you

okay so i just watched a rerun of tyra and ll cool j and danity kane were on. seriously, ll really does have a lip licking problem. its distracting actually....anyway. he has a hot body but what's new? i'm obsessed with the ride for you song by danity kane that they sang. umm..yeah. that and the nancy drew call thing that kristen showed me online. basically you put together this voice message that emma roberts says and it automatically calls whoevers number you enter. i love it.

today i went to the wisdom teeth surgeon guy who extracted my teeth about a month ago. this was my fourth visit, sixth if you count the actual pre op and operation. i have had more complications with getting my wisdom teeth out than anyone should. i won't go into detail but one side of my face is now swollen and once again i look like i just had surgery although its been a good 4 weeks. why me.

i am supposed to be coming up to MD this weekend and hopefully i will still get to if this infection goes away, so i'm really excited about that, and not so much excited to see how obsessed kristen really is with harry potter or what dumb drama may be going on, i'm just looking for a good time at home! so..yeah.

this summer has not been amazing thus far. i need money and every job i get seems to somehow fall through...maybe its because its babysitting and thats not exactly a real job but come on...its easy so i can't complain. i did get significantly darker this weekend by going to the pool saturday and sunday with dev, so thats nice...i am now wondering why i was so stupid to spend 40 bucks on a month of tanning when i can just walk to the pool and layout. i'm an idiot. oh well.

not much else is new. I CANT FREAKIN WAIT TO GO HOME AND SEE EVERYONE! :)

its a done deal

so i am officially done my first year of college and it feels great! sure, i miss some things naturally, but i am glad to not be stressed about schoolwork anymore!!

as i reflect back on my experiences this year and all of the changes i have gone through, i can definitely say it was a new chapter in life. probably one of the biggest adjustments ever. moving away from home was hard but it worked out alright. i wish was closer to home in md, but it was nice having my family so close to my school if i needed them. i made some amazing friends this year along with a boyfriend who is more perfect than ever! so things are good. i managed to increase my gpa second semester and i'm pleased with that. hopefully it will only go up. i'm really excited for next year. again, it will be a new start, i will officially be living on my own in an apartment, and that makes me feel old, but independent nevertheless. i hope i can prove to myself that i can do things on my own and support myself in ways that i never thought i could. i'm going to be paying for a lot more than i'm used to, so saving up this summer is a must. anyway, freshman year went by fast but i can honestly say it was one of the best years ever and i will never forget the memories made in cypress.

onto newer things...
i got my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning. i am on some hydrocodone so that is helping with the pain thank gosh. its not as bad as i thought it would be, but my face does look like that of a chipmunk. ugh. i'm glad its over though. being put to sleep was kind of fun, i'd do it again haha

oh so today i got a new car. well, its used, but you know. my dad picked it out, he found it online, its a bmw. not new so don't jump out of your pants. it will do the job though. so i'm glad i don't have to drive my moms van anymore. seriously, almost anything could be better than that.

well...thats all for now.

never look back cause you won't forget why you cried

so, i'm depressed right now. the room is getting more bare by the second! kristi already left, me and dev took katie to the airport earlier so shes gone...it's so sad. i am going to miss this year. i will do a full reflection blog this weekend probably because i'm the dork i am.

my song for the moment is carrie underwood "i'll stand by you" soooooooo good. haha. and sad. i am glad that jordin stayed on american idol tonight, shes my fav. woo hoo. what else...? i got a job. i don't think i've written about that. i am babysitting this summer, and its not bad at all. the kids are adorable so it will be fun i think. and i need money. i can't wait to go on vacation, i really need one. far away. i'm sick of moving, thats for sure.

well i'm going to bed. i hope i do good on my last final in music tomorrow.

the journey never ends

so i'm sitting here listening to journey's greatest hits and stalking people on facebook when i should be starting the rough draft of my paper which is due tuesday...that or reading the book i have a test on wednesday. but whatever. it can wait as it always does.

this weekend was long and nice and i didnt get much accomplished. i cleaned my room today. i watched this indie movie called little athens last night and it strangely reminded me of my past. i still have to finish watching running with scissors. i still think the book was better though.

i really want school to be over but at the same time i'm sad about it. it's not as bittersweet as last year with graduation and all, but the feeling is familiar and it's that feeling of change that everyone anticipates. i can't believe my first year of college is almost over- it went by so fast. i'll write a lessons learned blog when i really am finished but yeah..um

oh yeah so this weekend i learned how to mow the lawn, and my hands hurt really bad now. my dad said i can make 20 dollars a week if i come home and do it every weekend and as much as i don't really want to do it, i'm going to...because 1. its good excercise 2. i get money 3. in the crappiest way its sort of fun. don't mark my words because i could change my mind.

and its your final last call....

so...HAPPY EASTER! now that's that. i went to church today, and why a million people decide to come on this one day and never again until christmas i do not know but it is annoying. REALLY REALLY bad <-- in my jen from the hills voice. hahaha. oh i am a loser. anyway...

yesterday my parents had an easter egg hunt for us in our house and well that was a lot of fun. we each had ten eggs that were the same color, mine were purple. the first person to find all of theirs got a prize...i thought it was money but instead it was a lottery ticket. WOO. but anywho i ended up winning because duh i am awesome. so that was cool. i opened all of my lovely plastic eggs and i got five bucks in each so that wasn't bad, i can't complain. and i won a dollar on one of my lottery tickets, and 4 dollars on the other one. a good easter yeah...except i didn't get around to dying eggs with my sister even though my mom boiled them and everything...hmm..i wonder how long those things last..i can always do it later.

today sucks because its sunday and that means tomorrow is monday and if i remember already i already wrote a blog that bitches about sundays so i won't go there again but really...why does monday exist. please someone find the answer to my question. and why are exams always on mondays..essay exams on that. gahhhhh. so i have that tomorrow and a math quiz. i really just can't wait until school is over but then i have summer school and la dee da stress stress stress.

oh i just want to say that i randomly found these clips on youtube of "tourettesguy" and they are freakin' hilarious. now i am not making fun of people with tourettes, for all i know this could be fake, but this man is really funny. google him or something. well thats really everything new..