Friday, October 24, 2008

lindsay lohan lyrics aren't even good enough right now

"since everything is but an apparition perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may as well burst out in laughter" -long chen pa

i'm not joking about that person's name. i don't know who they are but that was on my zen calender for october 18th. anyway, i'm in an annoyed mood lately. i wish i could copy and paste a blog post kristen recently wrote about the certain people thing...yeah...i'm so there right now. i'm totally feeling the sitting on the couch watching a movie and ranting. ranting is good. is ranting also called bitching? i prefer ranting. i rant alot. only in my head really. it gets old after awhile but somehow i can't stop. i ranted out loud last night, not even loud, like yelled. literally. i feel slightly bad about it, however i guess that's what you get when you bottle things up and then explode about them (kristen, i guess somehow i was trying to be mysterious and i'm sorry because i may be categorized into one of the people you hate) except i have excuses. i always do. moving on, i don't know where i was going with this.

i'm driving my dad's truck this weekend and its not as much fun as it usually is. i just want my car back. well i'm going to go have a glass of wine and hope it doesn't make me nauseous.

Friday, October 17, 2008

think of you later in my empty room..

so as i sit here and listen to some music i wonder why i'm not writing my speech. it's not cool. i just heard a lyrics "i'm not into goodbyes" well you know, me either.

today was far more uneventful than the past few days. i had to get up early and go to work, and then straight to SI which i'm glad i did because it helped alot and i got my homework done. well then i hung out with cody for awhile before i went to get my haircut. it turned out nicely...its still long but uh there's a really short layer in the back and i'm still trying to play around with it and get used to.
alright so obnoxious is my word of the week. everything and everyone is being obnoxious to me lately.
Main Entry:
Pronunciation: obnoxious
\äb-ˈnäk-shəs, əb-\
1archaic : exposed to something unpleasant or harmful —used with to
2archaic : deserving of censure3: odiously or disgustingly objectionable : highly offensive
ok so i suppose i am irritated which was kristen's word of the year not too long ago. on with that story, yeah i don't know i've been in a mood the last few days. a rut, if you will. but nothing is really wrong, at the same time everything is. do you know what i mean? and yes kristen i do feel that way sometimes. the way i am referring to is the feeling of not ever doing something right. its basically the story of my life, but then i make myself feel better (or try to) by making myself believe that nothing i do is wrong and i'm like amazing and awesome and everything i do is perfect in that its horribly not perfect....i know it doesn't make sense but sometimes its just better to pretend like things are a certain way when obviously they aren't. anyway you probably didn't understand that but whatever.

tomorrow i'm getting paid 100 dollars to babysit from like 12- 7 or 8 or something like that. i'm dumb and i'll probably spend that money by next tuesday afternoon. there's so many things on my list to do. i'd run out of space and my fingers would hurt if i wrote them all down. i wish i could get motivated enough to accomplish one of my many brilliant of which is to start scrapbooking with the hundreds of pictures i have on my computer from the past 4 years. maybe one day it will happen.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


i'm very obsessed with taylor swift's song "fearless" at the moment, and i would like everyone to know.

moving on, the last few days have been a whirlwind. not really, but lets pretend they were. i haven't accomplished much of anything but that's nothing new. last night was amazing. cody bailed on me to see the concert i've had tickets to for a month but it was an acceptable reason. i took kristen instead and she had a blast and i'm glad. it was the all time low show at tremont. that was not the reason i went. i went to see THE MAINE. aka lead singer john is my future husband. so we watched every avenue perform, and then of course the maine, and a bit of mayday parade after which we just left. i got all i wanted out of the night and it was very nice.

today was also an exciting day. raven symone (as in that's so raven & the cosby show) was on our campus doing a voting rally thing. i met up with my old roommate christie (good to see her) and my current roommate kristen and met her and got a picture with her. so cool. hhah man i'm a loser. we got free food too..always good.

i was very disappointed, however, to arrive at the designated SI (supplemental instruction aka tutoring) location today only to find it was cancelled and no one told me. Part of this was my fault for missing class this morning, but my alarm didn't go off because the ringer is broken so hearing it is a hit or miss. today=miss. ugh. my life makes me laugh. anywho, i sat there for a few minutes like a moron and when no one came i got fed up and peaced out. the rest of the day is a blur. i went to target..and the gym...i have to work tomorrow early and i'm not happy about getting up early.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

things are going oh so well and oh so not

the new copeland album is on myspace for a full listening preview before its available on tuesday and i must admit i do love it. however, copeland has that special effect on you. the kind of effect that makes you want to lie awake in your bed in the dark and ponder about the realities of life...that or drive in the rain. i don't know. but i really like it and tonight kristen can depress over the spill canvas stuff i sent her and this is mine. haha. hmm...alright new things. today is my dad's birthday. happy birthday dad. my birthday was last tuesday, i am in my 20's now. (20). climbing up the ladder we call life. its strange not to be known as a teenager anymore, i'm not sure i like it..but i feel the same so we will let it only be a number.

we are on fall break. i was officially as of friday around 3:15 after i left accounting SI. so i have tomorrow and tuesday to be lazy and do what i do best, which is nothing. and its amazing. i have been hanging out with cody (good times, good times). we went to see nick and norah's infinite playlist yesterday and it was uber cute. i want to marry michael cera. what else...i've been reading twilight nonstop. i have a feeling this series will become part of my top favorite books. we'll see. i did some homework, glad that's over. i vacuumed my car out. that's always nice...

i would like to stop for a moment to comment on kelsey's blog post about people and personalities and situations. in a nutshell, she threw out there the question "
Do different parts of you come out at different times of the day or do you only have one identity and when you supress certian parts of it does that mean your being fake?" well kelsey, i have an easy answer for you. everyone in the entire world has multiple personality disorder in some sort of way.not to take mpd light, but moreso like in different situations and different...well everything.. you will react in your own way. i mean that every single thing around you affects who you are at all times, maybe not in the big picture, but everything from weather outside to what you are wearing or if you're sick or tired or stressed or really just anything. i don't think you can put a label on if you are being you are not because you is composed of so many different things. i believe in just...being. i probably could diagnose myself with every disorder in the book pretty much so i'm not too worried about being 'fake'. i'm just...doing what i do. being weird and overly thinking everything in my life.

well that was probably the longest blog i've written in awhile. more later...

you see the night is all i have to make me fear
and all i want is just a love to make it hurt
cause all i need is something fine to make me loose
now its a funny way i find myself with you


Sunday, October 05, 2008

love rhymes with hideous car wreck

so i took a blood brothers song from kristen to use as my blog title. i like it.

today is a sunday and everyone knows i don't much like sundays because they are sad and i can never accomplish anything on these days. they are slow, and usually pretty outside. at least today was. i just finished watching the third episode of this seasons one tree hill and it has been crazy already. of course i cried. but that's nothing new.

last week was insane and i had four exams and probably didn't do as good as i could have on them. i need to go to si and the math center on a weekly basis from now on. i need to make some goals and stick to them for once. so we'll see how this goes. tuesday is my 20th birthday and i'm pretty excited though i have no plans. at work yesterday i got a free pair of jeans, (everyone did) so that was cool. another thing about work that i actually do like is all of the black people that wear obama shirts. it makes my day instantly better hah. some shit went down this weekend that was dumb and i'm over it i guess. i don't know where my life is going and i'm not a fan of this not knowing stuff but i should probably take control over things and make it better. that could be a start. wow i'm a little cooky when i'm on my period i won't even deny it. sorry. sorry in advance for the next time. i really need to go to target now and get the new jacks mannequin cd because i want it in a hard copy form. aka i don't feel like being annoyed with itunes right now because its still messed up and has 3 copies of every song and it pisses me off. THEREFORE i am going to resign for the night and call it a day. peace. love. xo you know.