i have an issue. i cannot ever do anything i want to do. like seriously if i was anyone else i would hate me. i guess i shouldn't say can't ever, or never, do anything i want to do, or say i want to do, it just doesn't happen the way i see it in my head. why does this occur? i'm not really sure. i blame others, such as God, and say he is punishing me, but i am fully aware it's just me. ha. i was thinking about blogging and how i will get on here and write ok its been forever, i'm sooo gonna write every day now. yeah.....that doesn't happen. why? i don't know. i have moods. i would love to get on here, but somehow i'm doing other mindless things. whatever. another thing...exercise. check that off the list today, but a handful of other random days i didn't when i could have. and lastly, homework/studying. this is more so understandable but still a stupid thing on my part. and if anyones reading this saying yeah it is your fault, you're dumb and should do better in school instead of fucking around online and watching tv, then fuck you. seriously. you're the one reading this blog instead of being productive. ANYWAY, i'm perfectly aware of my productivity levels, as well as my capabilities and my utilizing them is my business. so.
today is my brothers birthday and he's 19. happy birthday.
i got my haircut today and it needed it bad, but of course i still think i look bad, there's a realllllly short layer in the back and its slightly mullet-ish. hair grows. so i don't care. i also went to walmart and got the edward poster...again, because i bought it once when i was in maryland last week and i left it there because once again i'm an idiottt. by the way, happy new year. see i totally suck at keeping up with this. 8 days late already! jeez....
i went home to maryland last tuesday..the 30th...and came back saturday. it was fun. mostly saw kristen and ash and kels. and heather on new years. good times, good times. i really miss my "high school friends" i still feel like they are the only people who really, really know me. blahh. everytime we get together it feels like yesterday. we do all the same things we did when we were 12, and its awesome. so it was a nice trip.
to remind myself later on, i'm going to mention now my resolutions...
1. be more patient
2. lose a million pounds (haha jk, just go to the gym every day..or almost every day)
3. eat better
4. be on time
5. get decent grades....this is a life or death situation
6. be more original
seriously, i'm sooo lame. i'm sorry for anyone reading this. if i were you i would have stopped a long time ago. today my dad made me go out in the driveway and shovel dirt back into the ground from nasty muddy tire tracks i made in the neighbors yard. it sucked cause it was kinda cold, and like super windy.
one last creepy thing. i was driving home from walmart and this middle age...maybe late 20's...early 30's...weird indian or mexican or i don't know what the fuck he was, anyway, he kept driving at the same speed next to me and STARING at me and smiling it was so fucking weird, i looked at him back and just like grinned with my eyebrows up, you know, the "yea hi go away" look. and he didn't stop. then i was about to turn off the road and he fucking honked his horn when he was going by just to get my attention and smiled again. ugh dude, so not cool. yeah that's my life.
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