so before i write i just want to thank kristen from coming back from her short hiatus away from blogger. welcome back, we faithful readers appreciate it.
now onto the good, but not so good, stuff. i have also been away. i have my reasons. i have tried to avoid the unavoidable on blogger, the place where all of my current emotions and life events have been recorded. last tuesday, a week ago from today, the current love of my love moved back to arizona and left me sleepless in charlotte. i wish i could say seattle, but it just won't work. anyway, so cody left to go back to az and of course i am here. thousands of miles away crying in self pity about how horribly my life plan is going. yes, i understand it could be worse, but for me this is bad and i have the right to bitch to blogger about how shitty i feel. it's pretty shitty. i have been doing better than i expected, but i still have that..sickening empty feeling inside and it comes and goes during those quiet stationary moments throughout the day and especially night. i'm not sure how i was or am supposed to feel, but all i can safely say is that i'm not dead. so i suppose that's a good thing. my life has been uneventful as expected and nothing fun has happened. it is the week of finals and i'm glad for that. i have one more tomorrow and then i'll be done. the bad news is that i have to retake accounting 2 and start calculus over again as well. in conclusion, i will have to work my ass off in order to graduate on time. i need positive motivation and thinking or i'm doomed. i guess i'm doomed. but we'll roll with the punches and hope all goes well from here on out.
i can't wait to go home to maryland during this winter break. it's the highlight of my holiday and will be fun. no doubt about that. soon enough january will be here and i can't believe it will be 2009. whoa. so weird. i can't wait to see cody again. i hate being like this, like all depressed over a boy, but really, he became my best friend in the last year. i'm not the most social butterfly in the meadow, and he was like the only constant thing that has made me happy here. Now without him, being in charlotte, being here in college, i'm just not feelin' it. i want to be done. i want to move on. i'm not exactly sure what that entails, but not this. uhhhh....
i'm mad that my computer is being so slow it won't download the new fall out boy cd fast enough. wtf.
No comments:
Post a Comment