Wednesday, August 16, 2006

breathing should be an easy task

I figured it was necessary to write now because tonight's a pretty big deal. At least I think it is anyway. This is the last time I'll sleep in my bed for..who knows how long. Not that I couldn't come home whenever but I mean it'd sort of ruin the idea, ya know? I can't believe how much stuff is necessary to bring to school when you're living on your own. It's all so crazy. We're growing upppp. Ahhh. I wish my dad was here to help me move in tomorrow. I don't know why he has to go work in Florida now. I don't want to move again. But I'm used to it, and I'm out of school so I guess it shouldn't matter. Anyway...I can't believe this is all happening. It really does feel like yesterday that summer was just beginning. There was so much ahead, and now...there's school to look forward too but still...I don't know. I'm so nervous. My dad thinks that I will be loving it within 4 hours, so he says. We'll see about that. I just want to meet some cool, down to earth people. Things still aren't sinking in though. But I did look at my nightstand earlier and was packing stuff I need, and I grabbed my jar of vaseline (which I use as lipgloss!) and for some reason that sort of set me off. My eyes watered a little...I didn't cry, but I was close to it. I'm just really going to have to get used to things changing. Not just moving away from home or being away from md and all my friends, but the fact that high school is over. The drama won't be the same. No lockers, no "early release for snow" or bells or hall passes. Those are the things I think in a way I'll miss. But honestly like, you can't go back. Even if you wanted to. Things will never ever be able to be like they were. Everyone is moving on, everyone is going away and getting on with their lives. I don't know why I just thought of the quote "Life sucks, then you die" but that isn't all entirely true. I mean yeah, I complain about alot of things- I'm not gonna lie haha but I have some amazing friends and a good family, and we've shared alot of memories together that I would never take back. I don't regret anything I've ever done. If anything I've learned from it, and laughed it off or just put it in the back of my mind, you know? I think in order to feel good about change you need to believe that life is worth living. All of it- the good, the bad, and the ugly. Approximately 12 hours from now I'll be moving into my room and meeting new people and who knows how I'll be feeling, but hopefully I'll survive. I guess I'm ready. Onto new things...

With a new school year comes a new tv show, and well although it's not new it's a new season. Season 3 Laguna Beach premiered tonight. Reminds me why I love/hate high school. Some girls are really mean. Ever heard of a little thing called empathy? Apparently some people haven't. What a shame. But I think this season will be pretttttty interesting. You know how there are just some people you never get over? Well sometimes there are just shows that I will never get over. Like lame-oh Laguna Beach. ahhhhh

TOMORROW I AM GOING TO COLLEGE.

i wish someone was here to slap me.
well, wish me luck. i'll let you know how it goes.
<3

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