is my new favorite band lately. but i've also downloaded the new lil wayne album, and big time rush album, and some other odd songs.
i had a nice fall break last week and wish it lasted longer. i went home to md and went to the renaissance festival, went to a corn maze, pumpkin picking, etc etcccc it was very nice. now it's back to reality and school is a bother once again. i am so ready for december 18th to be here. except i don't know what i'll do after that. but it has to be better than this. that's all i know.
so what else is new? two weekends ago kathleen and i saw mae. that was fun.
mom and i went shopping yesterday and i got some stuff. yay...
bahhh i don't know i'm done
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
i never told you
I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
needless to say tonight was the end of the hills and of course i cried. i know it's fake and blah blah blah but i don't care. i'm having a slight quarter life crisis. everythings changing and i'm not prepared for it, i can't handle it, i don't know how to handle all that's going on (and not going on). the next year of my life is completely up in the air and i have less than 6 months to figure out what i'm doing. *sigh*
Friday, May 14, 2010
and all i wanted was a simple kind of life
so..seriously. 5 months give or take and i haven't written in here. i am too lazy to use proper punctuation so just deal with it.
i get on blogger almost everyday and read kristen's blogs. i think they should be published in a book for real. i would totally buy that. we need to become friends with a book publisher so we can get that going. they are my entertainment and i wish i had the drive to write like that too.
it's thursday night, actually it's friday morning now technically, and i just got done watching hilary duff's new movie out called "according to greta" and i might just need to go buy it. i really liked it. it's an independent movie which of course means it's all emotional and weird and imperfect and of course that's right up my alley. anyway, fuck everyone who doesn't like her seriously i thought she was really good in this film. and i have a new crush on evan ross who plays her little love interest and he is also diana ross's son and he's adorable. so my point is i liked the movie and everyone should go rent it from redbox cause it was good and...yeah.
as of wednesday i was done school. my last final for the semester, that is. i have ONE more semester to go before i graduate in december and luckily i don't have to take any summer classes like i did last summer. it's kinda sad because all of my friends are graduating on time, well not all, but a lot and it makes me feel sort of like a failure. but at the same time i don't think i am ready to graduate and there's no jobs and i don't know what i want to do with my life so having six more months to think about it and live off my parents guilt free won't hurt, right? that's my theory.
what else can i ramble about? how about how much money i don't have that i want to spend and am thinking about spending my savings because i can't control myself. oh, it's bad. let's go through what i've bought in the last few months on my own dime- 200 trip to miami (and that was with a free place to stay) 179 on a digital camera because mine died (never buy a kodak) 120 on a new straightener (my chi died, i bought a sedu which is much better) and...160 on a blackberry..(i was sick of my piece of crap env2 which was starting to die anyway) so there it is...that's what? $659.....and then prob almost 100 worth of going out to eat. soo...maybe..760...shoot me. that is so wrong. but somehow i managed to save about 600 too so i guess that's good. i plan to travel alot this summer. with what money you ask? my savings. babysitting money (yes i still save it like i'm 14) i want to go see cody so bad. i haven't seen im since august and...i think that's enough said.
before i finish up here, i'd like to add that i got the new "charice" cd after seeing her on oprah and i love it.
i am aware that this blog was all over the place but after not writing for so long i had no idea where to start. i could write more but....i'm going to bed.
i get on blogger almost everyday and read kristen's blogs. i think they should be published in a book for real. i would totally buy that. we need to become friends with a book publisher so we can get that going. they are my entertainment and i wish i had the drive to write like that too.
it's thursday night, actually it's friday morning now technically, and i just got done watching hilary duff's new movie out called "according to greta" and i might just need to go buy it. i really liked it. it's an independent movie which of course means it's all emotional and weird and imperfect and of course that's right up my alley. anyway, fuck everyone who doesn't like her seriously i thought she was really good in this film. and i have a new crush on evan ross who plays her little love interest and he is also diana ross's son and he's adorable. so my point is i liked the movie and everyone should go rent it from redbox cause it was good and...yeah.
as of wednesday i was done school. my last final for the semester, that is. i have ONE more semester to go before i graduate in december and luckily i don't have to take any summer classes like i did last summer. it's kinda sad because all of my friends are graduating on time, well not all, but a lot and it makes me feel sort of like a failure. but at the same time i don't think i am ready to graduate and there's no jobs and i don't know what i want to do with my life so having six more months to think about it and live off my parents guilt free won't hurt, right? that's my theory.
what else can i ramble about? how about how much money i don't have that i want to spend and am thinking about spending my savings because i can't control myself. oh, it's bad. let's go through what i've bought in the last few months on my own dime- 200 trip to miami (and that was with a free place to stay) 179 on a digital camera because mine died (never buy a kodak) 120 on a new straightener (my chi died, i bought a sedu which is much better) and...160 on a blackberry..(i was sick of my piece of crap env2 which was starting to die anyway) so there it is...that's what? $659.....and then prob almost 100 worth of going out to eat. soo...maybe..760...shoot me. that is so wrong. but somehow i managed to save about 600 too so i guess that's good. i plan to travel alot this summer. with what money you ask? my savings. babysitting money (yes i still save it like i'm 14) i want to go see cody so bad. i haven't seen im since august and...i think that's enough said.
before i finish up here, i'd like to add that i got the new "charice" cd after seeing her on oprah and i love it.
i am aware that this blog was all over the place but after not writing for so long i had no idea where to start. i could write more but....i'm going to bed.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
january snowed in weekend
yesterday we were "snowed in" too bad this couldnt happen in the middle of week which would cancel school. but i have managed to catch up a lot on season 4 of dexter. i am on episode 8 of 12. so i'm getting there. i reallllly don't want to go to school tomorrow but i know it's going to happen. fml.
Friday, January 29, 2010
hiatus
i took an extremely long hiatus from blogger. i don't have an explanation other than either i was busy or i was busy doing nothing..or i'm just lazy. probably a combination of the three. anyways, heather asked me if i quit blogging and the answer is no, just...took a long break.
so what has happened since april 2009? well not a whole lot. i took 4 summer classes and worked at ann taylor...that was fun. (not) and....cody came to visit in august and we went to ocean isle for his cousin, holly's wedding. i haven't seen him since. :( but we still talk 24/7 so i guess that's good...i don't know where it's going so don't ask. let's see..school started back in august and that sucked but i made it through and over fall break i went to NJ/NYC with some akpsi people and it was a lot of fun. Then, over thanksgiving break the fam took a trip to CT and then to phily to see the godparents, then we picked up my grandma in jersey and she was here until last week. okkkk thennnnn.....christmas came and went and now i'm back in school. boo. i have 5 classes....they are ok. i have 5 more to take in the fall then i'm DONE. DONE. DONE. please hurry...sorta.
i just got a job at the accounting office that my parents do their accounting with. the lady is nice. it's a pretty chill job so far. i wish i was an accounting major so i could have gotten credit for it but oh well. i am poor and need money.
i also got really obsessed with true blood and dexter since the last time i wrote....so yeah..that's fun.
i can't think of anything else right now...i'll try and update more often (i always say that)
so long....
so what has happened since april 2009? well not a whole lot. i took 4 summer classes and worked at ann taylor...that was fun. (not) and....cody came to visit in august and we went to ocean isle for his cousin, holly's wedding. i haven't seen him since. :( but we still talk 24/7 so i guess that's good...i don't know where it's going so don't ask. let's see..school started back in august and that sucked but i made it through and over fall break i went to NJ/NYC with some akpsi people and it was a lot of fun. Then, over thanksgiving break the fam took a trip to CT and then to phily to see the godparents, then we picked up my grandma in jersey and she was here until last week. okkkk thennnnn.....christmas came and went and now i'm back in school. boo. i have 5 classes....they are ok. i have 5 more to take in the fall then i'm DONE. DONE. DONE. please hurry...sorta.
i just got a job at the accounting office that my parents do their accounting with. the lady is nice. it's a pretty chill job so far. i wish i was an accounting major so i could have gotten credit for it but oh well. i am poor and need money.
i also got really obsessed with true blood and dexter since the last time i wrote....so yeah..that's fun.
i can't think of anything else right now...i'll try and update more often (i always say that)
so long....
Saturday, April 18, 2009
no need to hide anything anymore
so i have no choice right now but to blog. its 5:43 AM and i am WIDE awake. WTFFFFFFFFFF. seriously, i want to punch whoever is playing music so loudly in an apartment complex where you have neighbors. and they are like..playing drums too. WHO DOES THAT? ksdfnskdfjnds. ok anyway, so i'm alive, i'm awake. i would say i'm well but i'm not sure i am.
i have been having so many thoughts lately. about everything. school, work, love, life. i always feel like i'm talking so much, but then i realize it's just to myself. is that wrong? haha. i live in my head way too much. i'm listening to anberlin "breathe" and it's kind of a depressing song, but it's not meant to be. idk. i am so confused as to where i'm going. i don't really know what i'm doing. i think i just need summer to be here. i need a vacation to somewhere farrrrr away. that....or i need to move. this is the longest i've been in one place for awhile now and i'm pretty much ready for a new one. ...
anyway.....i don't know what the point of this blog was. i could write alot but i just don't want to.
;
i have been having so many thoughts lately. about everything. school, work, love, life. i always feel like i'm talking so much, but then i realize it's just to myself. is that wrong? haha. i live in my head way too much. i'm listening to anberlin "breathe" and it's kind of a depressing song, but it's not meant to be. idk. i am so confused as to where i'm going. i don't really know what i'm doing. i think i just need summer to be here. i need a vacation to somewhere farrrrr away. that....or i need to move. this is the longest i've been in one place for awhile now and i'm pretty much ready for a new one. ...
anyway.....i don't know what the point of this blog was. i could write alot but i just don't want to.
;
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
that girl's a trick
so i feel like a total amateur after reading kristen's 600th blog. whoaaa. though I do have 2 other blogs, they still don't add up to 600. that's insane. i wish i was more dedicated to this.
i got almost 10 hours of sleep last night and i have to say it was amazing. i got so stressed from sunday and monday that i actually got sick monday morning. it was notttt good. i'm glad midcourt for alpha kappa psi is over, it honestly wasn't that bad. Justin told me today he thought I did the best, and not to tell anyone. haha. That's awesome. But really...that surprises me. What else? Oh so I got sick yesterday during my sociology exam, and then during my calc exam. I think I did fine in socy, but calc...fucking fuck fuck fuck. I am probably going to fail...for the second time. I don't know what to do, seriously. I had all these plans to do the homework and study and call some people to help me study, but I just got too preoccupied with other crap I had to do, and calc just never came into the picture. Not good.
Today was a little better I guess...lab went fine...and I have Business Law tonight. I spend the afternoon watching a few episodes of one tree hill i missed. always good. i want to go shopping and i want to go to the gym. and i want to never have to do schoolwork again, but that's not going to happen. this weekend is the pledge trip. we found out on sunday that we're going to the beach. don't know what one though...i hope it's nice. but i know we're not just going to be laying out which is my specialty...so that kind of sucks lol i hope its still fun though.
i watched an episode of this lame ass show called candy girls today and its about music video girls...bleh. so dumb. why can't i ever concentrate? i'd rather watch stupid reality shows than do my work....i need like my mom to take away my computer/cell phone/internet. that's how bad it is. lol. i have no discipline, i've just come to this conclusion. oh well. i'll work on it.
well i can't think of anymore cool stories.
i got almost 10 hours of sleep last night and i have to say it was amazing. i got so stressed from sunday and monday that i actually got sick monday morning. it was notttt good. i'm glad midcourt for alpha kappa psi is over, it honestly wasn't that bad. Justin told me today he thought I did the best, and not to tell anyone. haha. That's awesome. But really...that surprises me. What else? Oh so I got sick yesterday during my sociology exam, and then during my calc exam. I think I did fine in socy, but calc...fucking fuck fuck fuck. I am probably going to fail...for the second time. I don't know what to do, seriously. I had all these plans to do the homework and study and call some people to help me study, but I just got too preoccupied with other crap I had to do, and calc just never came into the picture. Not good.
Today was a little better I guess...lab went fine...and I have Business Law tonight. I spend the afternoon watching a few episodes of one tree hill i missed. always good. i want to go shopping and i want to go to the gym. and i want to never have to do schoolwork again, but that's not going to happen. this weekend is the pledge trip. we found out on sunday that we're going to the beach. don't know what one though...i hope it's nice. but i know we're not just going to be laying out which is my specialty...so that kind of sucks lol i hope its still fun though.
i watched an episode of this lame ass show called candy girls today and its about music video girls...bleh. so dumb. why can't i ever concentrate? i'd rather watch stupid reality shows than do my work....i need like my mom to take away my computer/cell phone/internet. that's how bad it is. lol. i have no discipline, i've just come to this conclusion. oh well. i'll work on it.
well i can't think of anymore cool stories.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
addictions are just bad habits
i'm listening to a rocket to the moon and wondering why he is playing in every city except for mine. wtf? for real. not that i'd go anyway because no one i know likes good music!!!!!!! and when i say good music i mean rock/emo bands that play at tremont and amos.
i have to say i completely agree with kristen on her last blog. emotions make me feel awkward. other people showing their emotions to me...as in crying in front of me. i feel helpless when it comes to these situations as well. kristen, you have made me cold hearted! lol jk. but yeah sooo..last night was girls night out for akpsi and we went to danielle's parents lake house, which by the way, is really fucking sweet. so we all just talked and played this lame but fun gossip girl never have i ever game, and made bath salts, (pretty neat). then we watched sex and the city movie. definitely a girls night. i was exhausted by the end. i came home and went straight to bed.
today i have to work again and i am dreading it as usual. my boss is such a bitch. i don't even want to get into it.
can i also say how shitty school is? i hate hate hate hate school. i don't mind class, just the work. i am pissed cause i got a 72 on my second business comm test and i got a 90 on the first one, and i studied exactly the same way i did the first. WTF? FML. don't you love the...symbols...what are they called? acronyms? idk. whatever. i need to workout.....
follow me on twitter. http://twitter.com/jamiedalrymple
i have to say i completely agree with kristen on her last blog. emotions make me feel awkward. other people showing their emotions to me...as in crying in front of me. i feel helpless when it comes to these situations as well. kristen, you have made me cold hearted! lol jk. but yeah sooo..last night was girls night out for akpsi and we went to danielle's parents lake house, which by the way, is really fucking sweet. so we all just talked and played this lame but fun gossip girl never have i ever game, and made bath salts, (pretty neat). then we watched sex and the city movie. definitely a girls night. i was exhausted by the end. i came home and went straight to bed.
today i have to work again and i am dreading it as usual. my boss is such a bitch. i don't even want to get into it.
can i also say how shitty school is? i hate hate hate hate school. i don't mind class, just the work. i am pissed cause i got a 72 on my second business comm test and i got a 90 on the first one, and i studied exactly the same way i did the first. WTF? FML. don't you love the...symbols...what are they called? acronyms? idk. whatever. i need to workout.....
follow me on twitter. http://twitter.com/jamiedalrymple
Thursday, March 19, 2009
dsklfd holy effing crap
theres so much i seriously want to wriite but im too impatient to get it all down right now and also i have to leave for an adivisng appt which i'm not excited about. so to wrap it up in a few sentences:
a. i am getting a haircut today finally
b. my roommate stormed out of my room last night after saying that i don't pay enough attention to what she says, and for the most part i'm doing something on my computer while shes talking. if u really know me, u know i can't multi talk.if you have something important to say or are wayyyy over sensitive, make sure u sit me down face to face to tell me. sorry.
c. yeah so after storming out she text me and said she won't be talking to me until i'm as nice to her as i am my other two roommates? um...ok? lol wow ridic.
d. i am stressed out with school. FML i want to be DONEEEEEEEEEE.
e. sinus headaches suck ass
f. i am addicted to twitter now.
g. i went to az for spring break and will elaborate more on how fun it was later
h. i'm running out of things on the top of my head so i'll stop here
well that rant was fun, i will be updating later in detail. sdkfndufhdsufhds
a. i am getting a haircut today finally
b. my roommate stormed out of my room last night after saying that i don't pay enough attention to what she says, and for the most part i'm doing something on my computer while shes talking. if u really know me, u know i can't multi talk.if you have something important to say or are wayyyy over sensitive, make sure u sit me down face to face to tell me. sorry.
c. yeah so after storming out she text me and said she won't be talking to me until i'm as nice to her as i am my other two roommates? um...ok? lol wow ridic.
d. i am stressed out with school. FML i want to be DONEEEEEEEEEE.
e. sinus headaches suck ass
f. i am addicted to twitter now.
g. i went to az for spring break and will elaborate more on how fun it was later
h. i'm running out of things on the top of my head so i'll stop here
well that rant was fun, i will be updating later in detail. sdkfndufhdsufhds
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
you make breaking hearts look so easy
so once again i disappoint on the blog writing. i'm sorry kels! should i have known you were looking for an update i would have written sooner. maybe. haha but anyway--
the days have gone by so quickly i can't even believe it. i counted down from 45 to now be down to 3 days until spring break, and i get to go to az to see cody again. crazy. a few minor things have occurred in the past few weeks. i am pledging for a fraternity. i know, right? weird. unbelievable. but its not your typical fraternity, obviously, because i wouldn't be allowed in one, hence, i'm a girl. anywho, its alpha kappa psi, a professional business fraternity that is co-ed. i'm excited, and i'm meeting a lot of nice people. there's no bullshit attached in this fraternity, and i like that about it, so we'll see. alsoooo, i got a tattoo. i know, exciting. its on my right foot, and it says "let it be" if you're special, you know what this is about, if not then too bad. haha. i'm happy with it though. also umm...i don't know. yesterday we had a snow day and that was nice. we got about 4 or so inches of snow. its so pretty and it makes me feel at home!! on sunday i went to the jesse mccartney concert with my sister and her friend stefanie. it was awesome!!!!!!! of course. lol we were so close to him and i fell in love all over again haha. oh i'm such a dork.
nothing else much is going on that i feel i should write about. i'll try and write again sometime soon...
the days have gone by so quickly i can't even believe it. i counted down from 45 to now be down to 3 days until spring break, and i get to go to az to see cody again. crazy. a few minor things have occurred in the past few weeks. i am pledging for a fraternity. i know, right? weird. unbelievable. but its not your typical fraternity, obviously, because i wouldn't be allowed in one, hence, i'm a girl. anywho, its alpha kappa psi, a professional business fraternity that is co-ed. i'm excited, and i'm meeting a lot of nice people. there's no bullshit attached in this fraternity, and i like that about it, so we'll see. alsoooo, i got a tattoo. i know, exciting. its on my right foot, and it says "let it be" if you're special, you know what this is about, if not then too bad. haha. i'm happy with it though. also umm...i don't know. yesterday we had a snow day and that was nice. we got about 4 or so inches of snow. its so pretty and it makes me feel at home!! on sunday i went to the jesse mccartney concert with my sister and her friend stefanie. it was awesome!!!!!!! of course. lol we were so close to him and i fell in love all over again haha. oh i'm such a dork.
nothing else much is going on that i feel i should write about. i'll try and write again sometime soon...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
road to redemption
i'm actually laying in bed watching TI's road to redemption....why? i'm not sure. though its interesting. i'm glad i don't have to hustle..but the money tempts me. (kidding).
so i have had a sore throat now for 2 days and that sucks. i'm pissed i'm getting sick the weekend before i have 5 tests. that would happen to me though.
today is valentines day so woo hoo happy valentines day. its another saturday to me so i'm not all too excited. my valentine is 2000 miles away. oh well....its a hallmark holiday anyway. cody sent me a cute card and chocolate and starbucks card, etc. very sweet. only 20 days til i see him! what else....uh...i've been working out alot and i'm really mad because i don't feel like i'm getting much smaller....and that's irritating. the weather in charlotte has been crazy lately. like last week it snows and then all this week was like 75 out. it made me want summer to be here. i don't have much else to say right now...
so i have had a sore throat now for 2 days and that sucks. i'm pissed i'm getting sick the weekend before i have 5 tests. that would happen to me though.
today is valentines day so woo hoo happy valentines day. its another saturday to me so i'm not all too excited. my valentine is 2000 miles away. oh well....its a hallmark holiday anyway. cody sent me a cute card and chocolate and starbucks card, etc. very sweet. only 20 days til i see him! what else....uh...i've been working out alot and i'm really mad because i don't feel like i'm getting much smaller....and that's irritating. the weather in charlotte has been crazy lately. like last week it snows and then all this week was like 75 out. it made me want summer to be here. i don't have much else to say right now...
Monday, January 26, 2009
feel good drag
well what do you know? i'm finally deciding to write. i have alot on my mind, but my fingers will only let so much out. so for what its worth, here is a summary of whats going down in my world.
i have started school, and surprise surprise, it sucks. no luck there. however, my one class, sociology of gender, is interesting. i just hope i fucking pass calc and acct 2. anyway...
i just got back from arizona this past tuesday and it was absolutely amazing. i had so much fun and i didn't want to leave. being with cody for those few days made my life so much better, and that much harder, knowing it wouldn't last. he took me all around tucson and i saw just about everything he's ever talked about. i experienced the goodness of eegee's, nico's, and in-n-out burger. so that was cool. we saw my bloody valentine 3D. freaky. we played wii, went out on his dad's quad, went to church, an icecats game, and some other stuff. i was just happy to be with him. this is my life in a quote:
"As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."- lucas scott.
yeah its from one tree hill. its good though.
so back to reality. i went bowling on friday with ashlee, kendrick, amanda, and some other people. it was some GCF. (good clean fun) we went to eat dinner at applebees first, then to dave and busters. i'd never been there before, and i liked it. i got a shot glass with my tickets i won in the arcade.
i have some more to say but i'll save it for a rainy day.
go listen to anberlin's "feel good drag." its my song of the night.
i have started school, and surprise surprise, it sucks. no luck there. however, my one class, sociology of gender, is interesting. i just hope i fucking pass calc and acct 2. anyway...
i just got back from arizona this past tuesday and it was absolutely amazing. i had so much fun and i didn't want to leave. being with cody for those few days made my life so much better, and that much harder, knowing it wouldn't last. he took me all around tucson and i saw just about everything he's ever talked about. i experienced the goodness of eegee's, nico's, and in-n-out burger. so that was cool. we saw my bloody valentine 3D. freaky. we played wii, went out on his dad's quad, went to church, an icecats game, and some other stuff. i was just happy to be with him. this is my life in a quote:
"As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."- lucas scott.
yeah its from one tree hill. its good though.
so back to reality. i went bowling on friday with ashlee, kendrick, amanda, and some other people. it was some GCF. (good clean fun) we went to eat dinner at applebees first, then to dave and busters. i'd never been there before, and i liked it. i got a shot glass with my tickets i won in the arcade.
i have some more to say but i'll save it for a rainy day.
go listen to anberlin's "feel good drag." its my song of the night.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
i'm a nervous wreck, i'm a nervous wreck!
i have an issue. i cannot ever do anything i want to do. like seriously if i was anyone else i would hate me. i guess i shouldn't say can't ever, or never, do anything i want to do, or say i want to do, it just doesn't happen the way i see it in my head. why does this occur? i'm not really sure. i blame others, such as God, and say he is punishing me, but i am fully aware it's just me. ha. i was thinking about blogging and how i will get on here and write ok its been forever, i'm sooo gonna write every day now. yeah.....that doesn't happen. why? i don't know. i have moods. i would love to get on here, but somehow i'm doing other mindless things. whatever. another thing...exercise. check that off the list today, but a handful of other random days i didn't when i could have. and lastly, homework/studying. this is more so understandable but still a stupid thing on my part. and if anyones reading this saying yeah it is your fault, you're dumb and should do better in school instead of fucking around online and watching tv, then fuck you. seriously. you're the one reading this blog instead of being productive. ANYWAY, i'm perfectly aware of my productivity levels, as well as my capabilities and my utilizing them is my business. so.
today is my brothers birthday and he's 19. happy birthday.
i got my haircut today and it needed it bad, but of course i still think i look bad, there's a realllllly short layer in the back and its slightly mullet-ish. hair grows. so i don't care. i also went to walmart and got the edward poster...again, because i bought it once when i was in maryland last week and i left it there because once again i'm an idiottt. by the way, happy new year. see i totally suck at keeping up with this. 8 days late already! jeez....
i went home to maryland last tuesday..the 30th...and came back saturday. it was fun. mostly saw kristen and ash and kels. and heather on new years. good times, good times. i really miss my "high school friends" i still feel like they are the only people who really, really know me. blahh. everytime we get together it feels like yesterday. we do all the same things we did when we were 12, and its awesome. so it was a nice trip.
to remind myself later on, i'm going to mention now my resolutions...
1. be more patient
2. lose a million pounds (haha jk, just go to the gym every day..or almost every day)
3. eat better
4. be on time
5. get decent grades....this is a life or death situation
6. be more original
seriously, i'm sooo lame. i'm sorry for anyone reading this. if i were you i would have stopped a long time ago. today my dad made me go out in the driveway and shovel dirt back into the ground from nasty muddy tire tracks i made in the neighbors yard. it sucked cause it was kinda cold, and like super windy.
one last creepy thing. i was driving home from walmart and this middle age...maybe late 20's...early 30's...weird indian or mexican or i don't know what the fuck he was, anyway, he kept driving at the same speed next to me and STARING at me and smiling it was so fucking weird, i looked at him back and just like grinned with my eyebrows up, you know, the "yea hi go away" look. and he didn't stop. then i was about to turn off the road and he fucking honked his horn when he was going by just to get my attention and smiled again. ugh dude, so not cool. yeah that's my life.
today is my brothers birthday and he's 19. happy birthday.
i got my haircut today and it needed it bad, but of course i still think i look bad, there's a realllllly short layer in the back and its slightly mullet-ish. hair grows. so i don't care. i also went to walmart and got the edward poster...again, because i bought it once when i was in maryland last week and i left it there because once again i'm an idiottt. by the way, happy new year. see i totally suck at keeping up with this. 8 days late already! jeez....
i went home to maryland last tuesday..the 30th...and came back saturday. it was fun. mostly saw kristen and ash and kels. and heather on new years. good times, good times. i really miss my "high school friends" i still feel like they are the only people who really, really know me. blahh. everytime we get together it feels like yesterday. we do all the same things we did when we were 12, and its awesome. so it was a nice trip.
to remind myself later on, i'm going to mention now my resolutions...
1. be more patient
2. lose a million pounds (haha jk, just go to the gym every day..or almost every day)
3. eat better
4. be on time
5. get decent grades....this is a life or death situation
6. be more original
seriously, i'm sooo lame. i'm sorry for anyone reading this. if i were you i would have stopped a long time ago. today my dad made me go out in the driveway and shovel dirt back into the ground from nasty muddy tire tracks i made in the neighbors yard. it sucked cause it was kinda cold, and like super windy.
one last creepy thing. i was driving home from walmart and this middle age...maybe late 20's...early 30's...weird indian or mexican or i don't know what the fuck he was, anyway, he kept driving at the same speed next to me and STARING at me and smiling it was so fucking weird, i looked at him back and just like grinned with my eyebrows up, you know, the "yea hi go away" look. and he didn't stop. then i was about to turn off the road and he fucking honked his horn when he was going by just to get my attention and smiled again. ugh dude, so not cool. yeah that's my life.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
i am deeply offended
by kristen talking about sodomy. look it up. i had to...
no comment.
and she just said "whoa bitch" and told me to calm down.
whoa whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaa.
i'm going crazy.
no comment.
and she just said "whoa bitch" and told me to calm down.
whoa whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaa.
i'm going crazy.
i've resorted to this
though i can't get up the nerve to write a real blog, i will, however, write a blog containing all of my favorite fall out boy lyrics....here goes....
But I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins. -(america's suitehearts)
I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs.
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.
You can blame your problems on the world for so long.
Before it all becomes the same old song. -(the (shipped) gold standard)
I can't explain a thing
I want everything to change and stay the same
Outside doesn't care about anyone and anything
Now come together, Come apart.
Only get louder when you read the charts.
And oh baby when they made me, they broke the mold.
Girls used to follow me around, then I got cold.
Fly your cameras in the aisle.
And wave them like you just don't care.
I will never believe in anything again.
I will never believe in anything again.
Well change will come. Oh!
Change will come!
I will never believe in anything again. -(coffee's for closers)
ohh baby your a classic
like a little black dress
but you'll be faded soon
stuck on a little hot mess -(tiffany blews)
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great -(thnks fr th mmrs)
When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget
that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.
You need him. I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. (grand theft autumn)
I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by -(dance dance)
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song- (sugar we're going down)
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late- (a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me)
I'm good to go
And I'm going nowhere fast
It could be worse
It could be taking you there with me
I'm good to go
But it looks like I'm still on my own -(saturday)
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say.
(Tonight I'm writing you) a million miles away - (homesick at spacecamp)
My heart is on my sleeve
wear it like a bruise or blackeye
my badge, my witness
that means that i believed
every single lie you said -(chicago is so two years ago)
you want apologies
girl, you might hold your breath
until your breathing stops forever, forever
(...every pane of glass) the only thing you'll get
is this curse on your lips:
(every pane of) i hope they taste of me forever.
with every breath i wish your body will be broken again, again - (chicago is so two years ago)
Bury me standing under your window with the cinder block in hand
Yeah cause no one will ever feel like this again
And if I could move I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you
I must have dragged my guts a block... they were gone by the time we (talked)...
I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself
But you know that I could crush you with my voice
Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me
Hide the details I don't want to know a thing
I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret
My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on
I wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel.- (the pros and cons of breathing)
OK, so I might have forgotten some...or whatever, i don't know but for the most part these are some of my fave FOB lyrics. Wow I can't believe I sat here and did that. I am a loserrrrr. I should be writing about how my xmas was and how i've had a headache for three days in a row, and how i'm depressed because my boyfriend lives a million miles away, and how i lost five pounds, and how my grandma is here visiting and fucking cracks me up, and how i hate work, and how i.......i don't even fucking knowwwwwwwww. i'll do that shit later though. peace.
But I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins. -(america's suitehearts)
I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs.
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.
You can blame your problems on the world for so long.
Before it all becomes the same old song. -(the (shipped) gold standard)
I can't explain a thing
I want everything to change and stay the same
Outside doesn't care about anyone and anything
Now come together, Come apart.
Only get louder when you read the charts.
And oh baby when they made me, they broke the mold.
Girls used to follow me around, then I got cold.
Fly your cameras in the aisle.
And wave them like you just don't care.
I will never believe in anything again.
I will never believe in anything again.
Well change will come. Oh!
Change will come!
I will never believe in anything again. -(coffee's for closers)
ohh baby your a classic
like a little black dress
but you'll be faded soon
stuck on a little hot mess -(tiffany blews)
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great -(thnks fr th mmrs)
When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget
that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.
You need him. I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. (grand theft autumn)
I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by -(dance dance)
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song- (sugar we're going down)
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late- (a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me)
I'm good to go
And I'm going nowhere fast
It could be worse
It could be taking you there with me
I'm good to go
But it looks like I'm still on my own -(saturday)
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say.
(Tonight I'm writing you) a million miles away - (homesick at spacecamp)
My heart is on my sleeve
wear it like a bruise or blackeye
my badge, my witness
that means that i believed
every single lie you said -(chicago is so two years ago)
you want apologies
girl, you might hold your breath
until your breathing stops forever, forever
(...every pane of glass) the only thing you'll get
is this curse on your lips:
(every pane of) i hope they taste of me forever.
with every breath i wish your body will be broken again, again - (chicago is so two years ago)
Bury me standing under your window with the cinder block in hand
Yeah cause no one will ever feel like this again
And if I could move I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you
I must have dragged my guts a block... they were gone by the time we (talked)...
I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself
But you know that I could crush you with my voice
Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me
Hide the details I don't want to know a thing
I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret
My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on
I wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel.- (the pros and cons of breathing)
OK, so I might have forgotten some...or whatever, i don't know but for the most part these are some of my fave FOB lyrics. Wow I can't believe I sat here and did that. I am a loserrrrr. I should be writing about how my xmas was and how i've had a headache for three days in a row, and how i'm depressed because my boyfriend lives a million miles away, and how i lost five pounds, and how my grandma is here visiting and fucking cracks me up, and how i hate work, and how i.......i don't even fucking knowwwwwwwww. i'll do that shit later though. peace.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
oh my god this hurts like hell
so before i write i just want to thank kristen from coming back from her short hiatus away from blogger. welcome back, we faithful readers appreciate it.
now onto the good, but not so good, stuff. i have also been away. i have my reasons. i have tried to avoid the unavoidable on blogger, the place where all of my current emotions and life events have been recorded. last tuesday, a week ago from today, the current love of my love moved back to arizona and left me sleepless in charlotte. i wish i could say seattle, but it just won't work. anyway, so cody left to go back to az and of course i am here. thousands of miles away crying in self pity about how horribly my life plan is going. yes, i understand it could be worse, but for me this is bad and i have the right to bitch to blogger about how shitty i feel. it's pretty shitty. i have been doing better than i expected, but i still have that..sickening empty feeling inside and it comes and goes during those quiet stationary moments throughout the day and especially night. i'm not sure how i was or am supposed to feel, but all i can safely say is that i'm not dead. so i suppose that's a good thing. my life has been uneventful as expected and nothing fun has happened. it is the week of finals and i'm glad for that. i have one more tomorrow and then i'll be done. the bad news is that i have to retake accounting 2 and start calculus over again as well. in conclusion, i will have to work my ass off in order to graduate on time. i need positive motivation and thinking or i'm doomed. i guess i'm doomed. but we'll roll with the punches and hope all goes well from here on out.
i can't wait to go home to maryland during this winter break. it's the highlight of my holiday and will be fun. no doubt about that. soon enough january will be here and i can't believe it will be 2009. whoa. so weird. i can't wait to see cody again. i hate being like this, like all depressed over a boy, but really, he became my best friend in the last year. i'm not the most social butterfly in the meadow, and he was like the only constant thing that has made me happy here. Now without him, being in charlotte, being here in college, i'm just not feelin' it. i want to be done. i want to move on. i'm not exactly sure what that entails, but not this. uhhhh....
i'm mad that my computer is being so slow it won't download the new fall out boy cd fast enough. wtf.
now onto the good, but not so good, stuff. i have also been away. i have my reasons. i have tried to avoid the unavoidable on blogger, the place where all of my current emotions and life events have been recorded. last tuesday, a week ago from today, the current love of my love moved back to arizona and left me sleepless in charlotte. i wish i could say seattle, but it just won't work. anyway, so cody left to go back to az and of course i am here. thousands of miles away crying in self pity about how horribly my life plan is going. yes, i understand it could be worse, but for me this is bad and i have the right to bitch to blogger about how shitty i feel. it's pretty shitty. i have been doing better than i expected, but i still have that..sickening empty feeling inside and it comes and goes during those quiet stationary moments throughout the day and especially night. i'm not sure how i was or am supposed to feel, but all i can safely say is that i'm not dead. so i suppose that's a good thing. my life has been uneventful as expected and nothing fun has happened. it is the week of finals and i'm glad for that. i have one more tomorrow and then i'll be done. the bad news is that i have to retake accounting 2 and start calculus over again as well. in conclusion, i will have to work my ass off in order to graduate on time. i need positive motivation and thinking or i'm doomed. i guess i'm doomed. but we'll roll with the punches and hope all goes well from here on out.
i can't wait to go home to maryland during this winter break. it's the highlight of my holiday and will be fun. no doubt about that. soon enough january will be here and i can't believe it will be 2009. whoa. so weird. i can't wait to see cody again. i hate being like this, like all depressed over a boy, but really, he became my best friend in the last year. i'm not the most social butterfly in the meadow, and he was like the only constant thing that has made me happy here. Now without him, being in charlotte, being here in college, i'm just not feelin' it. i want to be done. i want to move on. i'm not exactly sure what that entails, but not this. uhhhh....
i'm mad that my computer is being so slow it won't download the new fall out boy cd fast enough. wtf.
Monday, December 08, 2008
you're the only thing i know like the back of my hand
kelsey, t.swift rules my life too.
tonight is a sad night.
i only have hours left with cody and it doesn't feel real.
he's yelling at me to get off here.
but yeah,
i'm scared......
i love him.
tonight is a sad night.
i only have hours left with cody and it doesn't feel real.
he's yelling at me to get off here.
but yeah,
i'm scared......
i love him.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
the pants are not going to make everything better
i can't do anything.
er
i have a headache.
my neck hurts
my shoulders hurt
my legs hurt from hiking
i can't do my speech. even though it should be really easy.
i can't even summon the energy to make it through all of the sisterhood the traveling pants
ughhhhhh
skdjfnsdlkfjnsadljkf
i am sad.
i am mad.
i am....________ i don't know.
kristen and i are talking on aim about how our lives areh so dull, and if anything does happen, its bad.
i feel like whatserface girl in sisterhood, the one who works at wallmans and is price sticking the maxi pads and then price sticks her forehead. that's how i feel about my life right now.
i hope it gets better.
but of course not until it gets worse.
but
er
i have a headache.
my neck hurts
my shoulders hurt
my legs hurt from hiking
i can't do my speech. even though it should be really easy.
i can't even summon the energy to make it through all of the sisterhood the traveling pants
ughhhhhh
skdjfnsdlkfjnsadljkf
i am sad.
i am mad.
i am....________ i don't know.
kristen and i are talking on aim about how our lives areh so dull, and if anything does happen, its bad.
i feel like whatserface girl in sisterhood, the one who works at wallmans and is price sticking the maxi pads and then price sticks her forehead. that's how i feel about my life right now.
i hope it gets better.
but of course not until it gets worse.
but
Friday, December 05, 2008
santa, you bitch
i don't really feel like being on here. for some reason it takes effort for me when i'm not quite in the mood. i've enjoyed the past few days spending alot of time with cody because he's leaving this tuesday..or wednesday. which really really really super sucks and i don't want to talk or think about it. anyway, today we went hiking in gastonia on crowder mountain and it sure was a hike but we finally made it to the top and it was breathtaking. i'll put some pics up on facebook eventually. so yeah, that was relaxing and...nice. we met an older couple that wouldn't stop talking to us, but they were cute hah.
this coming tuesday is also the last day of class, until finals that is, so that's just great. minus cody leaving. sorry i keep ranting about him leaving. it consumes me, and i'm sad. he has become one of my closest friends now, and its going to be incredibly hard being away from him. anyway..oh yea we went to cracker barrel after hiking and man i love that place, its seriously so homey and warm. i wish i had a fireplace in my room. random thought.
so i've enjoyed heathers new poems, just givin' my fiance a shout out (if you didn't know we are engaged on facebook). also, kristen, always funny. can i just say that i am an observer also. what's coming to my mind is britney spears new song, circus, (yes,i bought the album) which begins "there's only two kinds of people in the world. the ones that entertain and the ones that observe" well britney is a put on a show kind of girl, and i am a watch the show from the center/middle row. i don't know why people are born the way they are. i feel like i was made to be awkward and feel embarrassed 24/7, though i shouldn't. i don't know...it's weird. sometimes i'm like super self conscious and other times i'm like psh eff you i don't know you. hmm...i'm not sure which is better to be. anywho, i pay attention to things i really shouldn't. and i want to make it clear that if i'm staring at you i'm simply wondering, i'm not judging you, let's not get the two confused. i hate when people think that certain people are close minded just because their background or sarcasm. whatever. i believe i am open minded and quite frankly i don't care if someone thinks i'm not. i.e.- cody calls me a prissy bitch and thinks i like hate poor people. whoa whoa whoa and whoa. that makes me mad. very untrue. i don't even feel like explaining myself. therefore, i'm going to wrap this up and call it a night. i really should have been doing homework or studying or SOMETHING for the past two hours. what else is new?
p.s.-listen to the maine "santa stole my girlfriend" on youtube.
this coming tuesday is also the last day of class, until finals that is, so that's just great. minus cody leaving. sorry i keep ranting about him leaving. it consumes me, and i'm sad. he has become one of my closest friends now, and its going to be incredibly hard being away from him. anyway..oh yea we went to cracker barrel after hiking and man i love that place, its seriously so homey and warm. i wish i had a fireplace in my room. random thought.
so i've enjoyed heathers new poems, just givin' my fiance a shout out (if you didn't know we are engaged on facebook). also, kristen, always funny. can i just say that i am an observer also. what's coming to my mind is britney spears new song, circus, (yes,i bought the album) which begins "there's only two kinds of people in the world. the ones that entertain and the ones that observe" well britney is a put on a show kind of girl, and i am a watch the show from the center/middle row. i don't know why people are born the way they are. i feel like i was made to be awkward and feel embarrassed 24/7, though i shouldn't. i don't know...it's weird. sometimes i'm like super self conscious and other times i'm like psh eff you i don't know you. hmm...i'm not sure which is better to be. anywho, i pay attention to things i really shouldn't. and i want to make it clear that if i'm staring at you i'm simply wondering, i'm not judging you, let's not get the two confused. i hate when people think that certain people are close minded just because their background or sarcasm. whatever. i believe i am open minded and quite frankly i don't care if someone thinks i'm not. i.e.- cody calls me a prissy bitch and thinks i like hate poor people. whoa whoa whoa and whoa. that makes me mad. very untrue. i don't even feel like explaining myself. therefore, i'm going to wrap this up and call it a night. i really should have been doing homework or studying or SOMETHING for the past two hours. what else is new?
p.s.-listen to the maine "santa stole my girlfriend" on youtube.
Monday, December 01, 2008
the boyband obsession continues....
ok, so....new obsession to mindlessly freakout over. varsity fanclub. thursday (thanksgiving) i was watching the macy's thanksgiving day parade as always, and saw these little cuties perform on a float and of course i spent 2 hours online myspacing/facebooking them. now i am uber obsessed. don't ask why. they are a typical cheesy boyband with eyame songs they dance (good) to. but yeah, totally youtube them hahaha. oh and my favorite member is thomas but he sort of seems like a dick, but i could be wrong. also, he might be dating mandy jiroux, aka miley cyrus's whore best friend.
anywho. i am once again laying in cody's bed. one of the last nights i will blog like this again on a sunday night. its depressing, lets not get into it. so yeah...break is over and it was ok i guess. nothing special, you know. just hung out and worked. black friday was crazy. i only bought a couple shirts. today was kari's 17th birthday. she's getting so old, its weird. do you ever look at other people and think like how the heck are you that old, i swear you were like 11 yesterday, but at the same time you're older too, so its not really fair to be like wow you're not a little kid...
just a thought. but ok i've been depressed lately. its the whole change thing coming, plus i'm failing 2 classes. i can't stand the thought of not having cody in my life anymore. not close, and here in a physical sense anyway. i know this.."departure" isn't the same as last years but still, the concept is overwhelming to me, and i really don't know how i'm going to handle him leaving. it's definitely going to be a tough next few weeks/months even. ughh...i need to be strong. heather i totally wish i was there this past week to hangout when no one else was around. you don't know what i'd give to be in wildewood sometimes. i need a familiar face once and awhile and i don't realize it until i'm like hyperventilating crying in my room wallowing in sorrow and self pity. i don't understand why things work out the way they do, and why God seems to have a grudge against me and deal me the worst cards ever. maybe not the worst cards ever ever, but definitely not the best ones. and this happens to me in a literal sense, in that i never win lottery cards either. i just can't seem to win. maybe one day.
......so i have some goals i guess for next year/semester. workout frequently and not stop the routine. eat better, become more emotionally stable (ahahaha riiiight), get only A's and B's, go to church more, and see the grand canyon with cody. he better take me when (if and hopefully) i go out to arizona. i don't know. i'm really confused about where my life is going. i keep telling myself i need to get my shit together, but another day goes by and i constantly feel like i'm running in place. i don't get it. i can't wait to graduate and start a new chapter of my life in a new city. and then i'll probably bitch about how that sucks too. goodnight.
When it feels like you're fighting
just to breathe that's when you know...
anywho. i am once again laying in cody's bed. one of the last nights i will blog like this again on a sunday night. its depressing, lets not get into it. so yeah...break is over and it was ok i guess. nothing special, you know. just hung out and worked. black friday was crazy. i only bought a couple shirts. today was kari's 17th birthday. she's getting so old, its weird. do you ever look at other people and think like how the heck are you that old, i swear you were like 11 yesterday, but at the same time you're older too, so its not really fair to be like wow you're not a little kid...
just a thought. but ok i've been depressed lately. its the whole change thing coming, plus i'm failing 2 classes. i can't stand the thought of not having cody in my life anymore. not close, and here in a physical sense anyway. i know this.."departure" isn't the same as last years but still, the concept is overwhelming to me, and i really don't know how i'm going to handle him leaving. it's definitely going to be a tough next few weeks/months even. ughh...i need to be strong. heather i totally wish i was there this past week to hangout when no one else was around. you don't know what i'd give to be in wildewood sometimes. i need a familiar face once and awhile and i don't realize it until i'm like hyperventilating crying in my room wallowing in sorrow and self pity. i don't understand why things work out the way they do, and why God seems to have a grudge against me and deal me the worst cards ever. maybe not the worst cards ever ever, but definitely not the best ones. and this happens to me in a literal sense, in that i never win lottery cards either. i just can't seem to win. maybe one day.
......so i have some goals i guess for next year/semester. workout frequently and not stop the routine. eat better, become more emotionally stable (ahahaha riiiight), get only A's and B's, go to church more, and see the grand canyon with cody. he better take me when (if and hopefully) i go out to arizona. i don't know. i'm really confused about where my life is going. i keep telling myself i need to get my shit together, but another day goes by and i constantly feel like i'm running in place. i don't get it. i can't wait to graduate and start a new chapter of my life in a new city. and then i'll probably bitch about how that sucks too. goodnight.
When it feels like you're fighting
just to breathe that's when you know...
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