think of you later in my empty room..

so as i sit here and listen to some music i wonder why i'm not writing my speech. it's not cool. i just heard a lyrics "i'm not into goodbyes" well you know, me either.

today was far more uneventful than the past few days. i had to get up early and go to work, and then straight to SI which i'm glad i did because it helped alot and i got my homework done. well then i hung out with cody for awhile before i went to get my haircut. it turned out nicely...its still long but uh there's a really short layer in the back and i'm still trying to play around with it and get used to.
alright so obnoxious is my word of the week. everything and everyone is being obnoxious to me lately.

Main Entry:

Pronunciation: obnoxious

\äb-ˈnäk-shəs, əb-\

Function:

adjective

1archaic : exposed to something unpleasant or harmful —used with to

2archaic : deserving of censure3: odiously or disgustingly objectionable : highly offensive

ok so i suppose i am irritated which was kristen's word of the year not too long ago. on with that story, yeah i don't know i've been in a mood the last few days. a rut, if you will. but nothing is really wrong, at the same time everything is. do you know what i mean? and yes kristen i do feel that way sometimes. the way i am referring to is the feeling of not ever doing something right. its basically the story of my life, but then i make myself feel better (or try to) by making myself believe that nothing i do is wrong and i'm like amazing and awesome and everything i do is perfect in that its horribly not perfect....i know it doesn't make sense but sometimes its just better to pretend like things are a certain way when obviously they aren't. anyway you probably didn't understand that but whatever.

tomorrow i'm getting paid 100 dollars to babysit from like 12- 7 or 8 or something like that. i'm dumb and i'll probably spend that money by next tuesday afternoon. there's so many things on my list to do. i'd run out of space and my fingers would hurt if i wrote them all down. i wish i could get motivated enough to accomplish one of my many brilliant ideas..one of which is to start scrapbooking with the hundreds of pictures i have on my computer from the past 4 years. maybe one day it will happen.

fearless

i'm very obsessed with taylor swift's song "fearless" at the moment, and i would like everyone to know.

moving on, the last few days have been a whirlwind. not really, but lets pretend they were. i haven't accomplished much of anything but that's nothing new. last night was amazing. cody bailed on me to see the concert i've had tickets to for a month but it was an acceptable reason. i took kristen instead and she had a blast and i'm glad. it was the all time low show at tremont. that was not the reason i went. i went to see THE MAINE. aka lead singer john is my future husband. so we watched every avenue perform, and then of course the maine, and a bit of mayday parade after which we just left. i got all i wanted out of the night and it was very nice.

today was also an exciting day. raven symone (as in that's so raven & the cosby show) was on our campus doing a voting rally thing. i met up with my old roommate christie (good to see her) and my current roommate kristen and met her and got a picture with her. so cool. hhah man i'm a loser. we got free food too..always good.

i was very disappointed, however, to arrive at the designated SI (supplemental instruction aka tutoring) location today only to find it was cancelled and no one told me. Part of this was my fault for missing class this morning, but my alarm didn't go off because the ringer is broken so hearing it is a hit or miss. today=miss. ugh. my life makes me laugh. anywho, i sat there for a few minutes like a moron and when no one came i got fed up and peaced out. the rest of the day is a blur. i went to target..and the gym...i have to work tomorrow early and i'm not happy about getting up early.

things are going oh so well and oh so not

the new copeland album is on myspace for a full listening preview before its available on tuesday and i must admit i do love it. however, copeland has that special effect on you. the kind of effect that makes you want to lie awake in your bed in the dark and ponder about the realities of life...that or drive in the rain. i don't know. but i really like it and tonight kristen can depress over the spill canvas stuff i sent her and this is mine. haha. hmm...alright new things. today is my dad's birthday. happy birthday dad. my birthday was last tuesday, i am in my 20's now. (20). climbing up the ladder we call life. its strange not to be known as a teenager anymore, i'm not sure i like it..but i feel the same so we will let it only be a number.

we are on fall break. i was officially as of friday around 3:15 after i left accounting SI. so i have tomorrow and tuesday to be lazy and do what i do best, which is nothing. and its amazing. i have been hanging out with cody (good times, good times). we went to see nick and norah's infinite playlist yesterday and it was uber cute. i want to marry michael cera. what else...i've been reading twilight nonstop. i have a feeling this series will become part of my top favorite books. we'll see. i did some homework, glad that's over. i vacuumed my car out. that's always nice...

i would like to stop for a moment to comment on kelsey's blog post about people and personalities and situations. in a nutshell, she threw out there the question "Do different parts of you come out at different times of the day or do you only have one identity and when you supress certian parts of it does that mean your being fake?" well kelsey, i have an easy answer for you. everyone in the entire world has multiple personality disorder in some sort of way.not to take mpd light, but moreso like in different situations and different...well everything.. you will react in your own way. i mean that every single thing around you affects who you are at all times, maybe not in the big picture, but everything from weather outside to what you are wearing or if you're sick or tired or stressed or really just anything. i don't think you can put a label on if you are being you are not because you is composed of so many different things. i believe in just...being. i probably could diagnose myself with every disorder in the book pretty much so i'm not too worried about being 'fake'. i'm just...doing what i do. being weird and overly thinking everything in my life.

well that was probably the longest blog i've written in awhile. more later...

you see the night is all i have to make me fear
and all i want is just a love to make it hurt
cause all i need is something fine to make me loose
now its a funny way i find myself with you

-copeland

love rhymes with hideous car wreck

so i took a blood brothers song from kristen to use as my blog title. i like it.

today is a sunday and everyone knows i don't much like sundays because they are sad and i can never accomplish anything on these days. they are slow, and usually pretty outside. at least today was. i just finished watching the third episode of this seasons one tree hill and it has been crazy already. of course i cried. but that's nothing new.

last week was insane and i had four exams and probably didn't do as good as i could have on them. i need to go to si and the math center on a weekly basis from now on. i need to make some goals and stick to them for once. so we'll see how this goes. tuesday is my 20th birthday and i'm pretty excited though i have no plans. at work yesterday i got a free pair of jeans, (everyone did) so that was cool. another thing about work that i actually do like is all of the black people that wear obama shirts. it makes my day instantly better hah. yeah....um some shit went down this weekend that was dumb and i'm over it i guess. i don't know where my life is going and i'm not a fan of this not knowing stuff but i should probably take control over things and make it better. that could be a start. wow i'm a little cooky when i'm on my period i won't even deny it. sorry. sorry in advance for the next time. i really need to go to target now and get the new jacks mannequin cd because i want it in a hard copy form. aka i don't feel like being annoyed with itunes right now because its still messed up and has 3 copies of every song and it pisses me off. THEREFORE i am going to resign for the night and call it a day. peace. love. xo you know.

like climbing up a greased pole

first of all, i'd like to thank kristen for my blog title because it is a quote from her blog. that is life as we know it. very crafty. anyhow, things are slightly looking up, but not really. about everyone knows that my car died 2 weeks ago and therefore i was stuck driving my sisters car for a week, and finally last friday i got an 03 accord which is running just fine and hopefully can stick it out 2 more years until i'm done school (at least). just as i thought my world was uplifting, my computer crashed last week out of nowhere and i was out of a laptop for a few days which was horrible, granted the amount of time i spend on this thing. it was fixable, thank god, but i did lose my pictures from last dec through now which made me depressed. some are on facebook and myspace, but you know, alot are still gone so i'm not a happy camper about that. i still haven't found the energy to organize my itunes because 1. i'm scared my music won't be there and 2. i don't want to sit here for hours and do it. i am also avoiding accounting and micro homework. oh well. i just watched the hills episode from monday i missed and it made me feel a little better for the moment. i need to go to the gym today before work. that's the goal of the day. also, i want to touch on the weather for just a minute. it's been really nice, you know not too hot, not too cold. it actually feels like the seasons are changing and for some reason, though it feels good it makes me kind of sad, you know what i mean? that feeling...ha..um..yeah. well okay anyway oh oh one more thing. i saw this boy on a bike on campus the other day, mind you, i normally hate people on bikes because i've had near death experiences with them, howEVER, this boy was the most gorgeous thing i've ever seen and so after i had a good look, i texted kristen about his hottness because she is the only one who'd ever appreciate his look and i expected never to see this fellow again, (besides in my dreams). now here comes the good/awkward/weird/fate part. i was in accounting the next day and low and behold who comes and sits in the row in front me? none other than my future boyfriend. jk. but yeah, i tried my hardest not to stare too long or too often but i had a feeling like people were seeing me being a creeper so i controlled myself. so accounting is now a better class. the end.

oh no this is all wrong

so pretty much i live my life like i have all the time in the world which is beyong untrue. i have so many things to do right now and none of it is being done. instead i went to my one class today, (hey at least i went) and then came back home and crawled back into bed with cody. got up around oh..one something and did nothing but listen to him talk about fantasy football and act like i'm really interested. so that's fun. i ate a hot pocket. well lean pocket. since then i've been effing around on the internet doing meaningless things like checking hilarynews.com and reading all of kristen's blogs i've missed out on for the past week and a half which dang girl slow down or just decide to write an autobiography already. besides all of that, i have to write a speech to give...tomorrow. yeah, i know. i should be more worried about it, along with the calc quiz i will have. hmm..i wonder what we did on monday since i'm an idiot and skipped. oh well. i didn't wear any makeup to class this morning because 1. i didn't shower and 2. i knew i was going to go back to bed, so i felt like people were looking at me thinking omg she's so ug. but whatever i'll get over it. i liked kristens comment about having to take a moment for her body temp to regulate back to normal after walking to class. story of my life. i swear i'm the only person who sweats in a 60 degree room. ughhh. last week i went to public speaking class and when i got there i looked down and realized that i had my shirt on inside out. only 3 other people were there, 1 girl and 2 boys i don't know. so i tried to play it off and talk to the girl about how retarded i am and i took my shirt off (i had a tank top on under it) and put it back on the right way. the boys there probably think i'm weird now. i'm listening to makedamnsure and it reminds me of good times.

ohh i wish that i was looking into your eyes

its been two days and i hate school already. i'm going to make this short and sweet. i'm listening to katy perry "thinking of you" aw i love it. anywho i am stressed. my classes are hard. i'm going to have to try. which is not good. i have to work, workout, and manage this thing called life, which after almost 4 months of summer is going to be a pretty big task. i liked kelsey's blog point about summer being a weekend of the year, it is. and also why people freak over summer flings and love and blah blah. why can't everything just flow and be how it is and fall into place when its supposed to. i also agree about the ipod shuffle fate. yeah sometimes i do think that certain songs come on for a reason but it depresses me and i usually just change it haha. but yea i don't know. i don't want to think about how things will be in the future i can't imagine it sometimes but it will come and that's it. tonight at work it was only three of us- me, christina and one of the managers sandy and it was her last day so we got dairy queen and just basically stood around the store the whole time and talked. it was actually a good night there for once. its also monsooning out and so i've gotten soaked about 4 times today. ugh. i like rain, but only when i'm laying in bed watching and/or listening to it. this park down the street that cody and i played catch at the last week is completely flooded and looks like a pond. its really weird to see it like that. the soccer goals are like floating in it. i wonder if class will get cancelled for flooding....hmm..yeah right. i'm going to bed. i have to get up at 8. fuck.

i'm so annoying

so i'm creepy obsessed with this song called what if by safetysuit. and yes i heard it on the hills but i don't care. so everybody who reads this go download that song!! oh its amazinggggggg. ok anyway, once again i got cut tonight from work so i'm even more poor. i got harassed by some of our new neighbors. its kinda scary when u go up stairs and have a herd of drunk guys say "stop! you can't go any further. turn your ass around and get in that apartment right there." umm...what do you say to that..."no thanks i'd rather be blogging?" oh no, you awkwardly laugh and say hah um oh i live right there maybe later...bye...so that was cool. oh and apparently tonight when i was at my parents house i broke the tredmill...i mean damn i didn't think i was that big, but my dad was like STOP and i couldn't hear him cause my ipod was so loud but he was yelling that the motor was about to blow up so that's great but really the tredmill is sort of old and its had alot of use so eff it, thats so not my fault if its making weird sounds now. whatev. well....aw i miss my friends at home. love you guysss.. good luck to kels and her blog, inspired by me..and heather too i suppose. hah. awesome. okay i'm going to watch college road trip. (yea that movie with raven) PEACE

the 7 things i hate about...life

so i'm listening to some old school copeland and talking on aim being a loser. i havent written in so long but i need to start again. it needs to be a habit because...i said so. and i am so amused by other people's blogs i have to keep the trend going. also heather said she was just inspired to start one because of me and the title of her blog is even like mine so i'm really flattered. anywho...
its august and that means school starts monday. thank god i am in a new apartment with wonderful people so you would think things could only be looking up right now...but no, its my life which means something has to go wrong every 5 seconds. last week it was getting a flat tire on the way to the soundtrack to your summer tour so i missed the maine and i was beyond pissed. this week i got hours cut at work which means i'm poorer, along with fantastic news about someone important to me moving far, far away. and to top it all off 1/5 of my family left, aka JR went off to college. how brave of him to actually leave farther than 10 minutes from our parents house. kudos. its all very bittersweet. i need a new hobby. oh well okay let me recap on the rest of summer..just got back from nj for the reunion that was fun. then ct to see grandparents, also great. and of course visiting the godparents in pa. we rafted down the delaware river. woo hoo. i also went home to md in june for a week which i don't know if i got to mention when i wrote last. thats really all the excitement i have going on right now. i need to pick up my parking pass and get books...ughhhh

what the eff

so im sure a MILLION and a half things have changed since i wrote. ive been anti social. well anti blog. i dont know why. i tell k to blog and i dont even write in my own. i guess thats sort of wrong. i should practice what i preach huh? ok lets see. im done school for summer. i now work at ann taylor factory and my old job and still nannying. i have cody. i went to florida for a week. im going home next week (md). people are still calling me psycho and crazy. thats always awesome. umm.what else? i passed accounting (fucking sweet). well i dont know much else. things are good. prettyyy good. oh yeah and i just chopped all my hair off the other day. starting fresh.

embarassing stuff

so really, i'm embarassed i haven't written in so long. it's kinda sad. really sad actually. its taken me like an hour to read all kristens new blogs and those are the recent ones too. its lame that i actually have an hour to read her blogs. but its okay because they are entertainment for sure and i get a good laugh out of them too. so sex and candy just came on my itunes, and these lyrics make me laugh. sooooooo

updates on my life:

1. winter break is over and it was nice. i went to md. that was really awesome.
2. this semesters classes suck for me
3. i haven't quite made or followed my new yrs resolutions or lent..things

ok speaking of which i don't know what i'm going give up...i have an idea. and damnit i just wrote a bunch and my keyboard was gay and deleted it. fuck. ok anyway so what was i saying? oh yea i have been having a realization..an epiphany if you will, that the saying, good things come to those who wait may be true. or partially. i got a chi pro dryer and a flat iron worth around 300 bucks for FREE at work. yea farouk systems sent them to us. so that was cool. and i just won $350 bucks for selling alot of kenra. how fucking awesome is that? yeah i thought so too. i need money, i'm poor. so those are good things among others that won't be mentioned but we'll see....because you know truth and time tells all. thank you justin bobby.

uhh..i don't know what else is new...the semester is going by pretty fast. i want to go somewhere for spring break but the thats highly unlikely. whatever. peace out.

my life and jesse mccartney

It isn't a crime to want
A little space to breathe
But you will be fine, the sun again will shine
On you
Whatever you do

Take your sweet, sweet time
Cause I'll be here, when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

I'm feeling you pull away
'Cause letting go isn't easy for me
But you'll never fly
With someone else's wings, I know
Wherever you go

Take your sweet,sweet time
I'll be here, when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

I will never stand in your way
Wherever your heart may lead you
I will love you the same
And I will be your comfort everyday
Do you hear the words I say?

Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I'll be here for you baby
Anytime

Oh, I'll be here, for you
I will be here

last christmas

i wanted to announce that last christmas is my favorite christmas song. i love all the versions of it too. anyway, life is just peachy.

so this is how it feels

to feel your heart break.

i love awkwardness

so i was reading k's blog and she wrote that she loves awkwardness. which just got me thinking. ha. awkwardness. i mean, it is what it is, you know? so why can't things just be? awkward or not..you'll get over it. and if you don't then that's obviously your own problem. you can't just tell people that something is going to be awkward when you aren't even there yet. because who knows? maybe it won't be. everything in life is only what you make it out to be. so if you want to continue to dwell on something, that's your own fault. shit happens and then you move on and learn from it. you shouldn't have to keep thinking my life is only like this because i did it to myself. no screw that, sure you did it but its over..done. enough, let's move on and stop thinking about what other people might say or feel about it. if they're losing sleep over it...wow. now obviously this whole rant is stemming from something in my own life that is annoying the shit out of me but there's not a whole lot i can personally do according to someone who thinks they know everything there is to know. its hard to talk to a brick wall. know what i'm sayin? its even harder to talk to that wall if you love it. so.

this week has been..eh. i have two tests next week and that's going to suck. but then thursday i fly out to phily for my cousin's wedding. that'll be a nice little getaway for once. and um...yeah i still need to get an outfit for that. its on my list of things to do this weekend. i just haven't got there yet. there's alot of things i haven't gotten around to yet. how does that happen? time flies when you're doing nothing. haha. so true though. i can't wait for thanksgiving to go home to md. hopefully at least. well i'm going to attempt to be productive now.

this is not what i had in mind..

well since tuesday night things have sucked and are still sucking. i can't even think of anything else to say right now. i'm just going to wait it out i guess. i hate that it has come to this so quickly.

so, its a sunday.

I am sitting at Devlin's desk in his room, on his computer, while he takes a shower. I love this keyboard I am tying on, not just because I bought it for him for his birthday but it types like really smooth and quiet..and it lights up blue, its really neat. Anyway,

This weekend I didn't do much. It was my Dad's birthday Friday so of course I was at home, then I kind of just stayed at my house this weekend because no one was around. I went shopping with my mom last night and I got some new sperry's and a pair of adidas shorts...fun. I was thinking about stuff to write about that would be interesting or funny but for some reason nothing is coming to mind right now. Well, today I went through the car wash at shell and this really fat lady in an old corolla was in front of me going and for the life of her she could not figure out how to get her tires aligned on the conveyer and it was hilarious watching her go back and forth trying, but finally she got it, and also forgot to put her car in neutral so genius there had a hard time to say the least. That was pretty entertaining.

I can't wait for November because I'm going to Philly for my cousins wedding, plussss Dane Cook the weekend after is going to be so much fun. Andd hopefully I'm going home to MD for thanksgiving so that'll be cool too if that happens. So yeah thats about it.

2 things

ok,

1- k, stop writing freakishly about ben your earth science teacher, thats weird...and creepy. i may email him the link to your blog if you continue....(ahah scared ya)

2- if you have a facebook, look me up and take my lame quiz called are you smarter than a 14th grader? get it? if grades kept going, i'd be in the 14th grade....

anyway the whole ben thing with k, yeah that is interesting, sounds like a cool teacher..i guess. i like that he eats sandwiches with a knife and fork, i'll have to try that. whats with earth science teachers being young and kinda weird? mine likes to be called by his first name too...and is a really huge dork, but not as weird as ben...

alright so anyway i just painted my nails and it pisses me off so bad that i suck at it and another finger or something always touches another and messes up at least one and i'm too lazy to fix it. today is friday and its my dads birthday, i need to go to target to get him a present and then drop a movie off and get a new one. thats about it. thats my day really. not exciting.

is it weird to put post it notes on my calendar of when the season premiere of certain shows are on? everyones making fun of me!! oh well. gotta go!

how about.....

you shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business. haha. :)

(not you reading this)

honeycomb is actually good....

me want honeycomb. not. haha. but really, kristen wrote about how she was eating a bowl of it while a sweaty man attempted to fix her tv and it just made me think about how much i obsessed over eating honeycomb every morning this past august. so...yeah. its good. i never thought i would like it, mostly because that little weird yellow dude is so creepy looking, i never thought i could possibly like a cereal that he liked. anyway....

today was sooooo nice in charlotte. it finally wasn't 526 degrees outside. i wanted to like go hiking on a nature trail or something, you know those kinds of days? well i didn't go hiking, but i watched alot of msnbc cold case files or whatever those things are. its a shitty world out there for some.

dev and i went to my house for dinner tonight and we had steaks. yummo. haha. i'm mad because we have tried twice ordering these stupid bmw emblems for my car that go in the middle of the wheel because they got stolen at the concord mills mall one day. (yeah, note to self, don't drive your bmw to the concord mills mall because homewrecking dumbcrap idiotic retard will steal your emblems!!!!!!) and anyway, they haven't fit my stupidest car, we ordered them twice, first ones were too small and plastic so we ordered the expensive real ones from the dealer and they stiiiiiiiiiiilll don't fit. lame. lame. and more lame. know what else is lame? school. and lastly? people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. but whatev, whatev. i still pretty much love my life. even when it could be better.

a long time coming

so i havent written since the beginning of summer and that was a long time ago, or so it seems. so anyway, summer in a nutshell was pretty good i guess. it sucks being in charlotte though...i wish i got to spend it with everyone from home..but sometimes things just don't happen the way you want them to. i did get to go to md though and it was a fun few days. good times and all. i went to florida for a week and i hadn't been there for three years so it was awesome seeing all my family. the day i got back from fl i left with dev for the outer banks. i'd never been there before and it was so beautiful. i had fun meeting his family and going to the beach although the water there was freezing. we set off fireworks at night on the beach and chased crabs with flashlights..that was like the thing to do out there. but yeah...um. summer was relaxing to say the least.

now school is started back up and we've been in class for the past 2 weeks. not too bad...yet. i'm in an apartment now. it's lovely, however, i feel like things aren't going to workout here for some reason...and its expensive...blah there are a lot of things running through my mind. i will stay here the rest of the year of course, but next year, with my house being so close and me being so poor i don't think taking out a loan just to live away from my parents is going to be in my best interest. we'll see. because you know, truth and time tells all. hah. had to throw that in there. anywho, um. i'm obsessed with tegan and sara now. listen to the con, its amazing. hmm..

i wonder why one persons life has to affect someone else's so much. you know like why other people give a shit about what i'm doing and my business with my relationships. people who know me understand that i don't regret staying in on weekends. don't get me wrong, i don't mind going out sometimes, i don't. but i don't like being judged for my personal decisions on how i want to live my life. i'm well aware of what i'm doing, what i'm getting into, where i'm going...and i don't have a problem with it. specifically speaking, some people seem to dislike the fact that i spend alot of time with my boyfriend. God forgive me for having the most amazing relationship. i mean really...i don't know. but i do know that i takewhat people say about me or to me, way to personally..so maybe instead of writing all of this shit i should just think to myself, fuck you.

ride for you

okay so i just watched a rerun of tyra and ll cool j and danity kane were on. seriously, ll really does have a lip licking problem. its distracting actually....anyway. he has a hot body but what's new? i'm obsessed with the ride for you song by danity kane that they sang. umm..yeah. that and the nancy drew call thing that kristen showed me online. basically you put together this voice message that emma roberts says and it automatically calls whoevers number you enter. i love it.

today i went to the wisdom teeth surgeon guy who extracted my teeth about a month ago. this was my fourth visit, sixth if you count the actual pre op and operation. i have had more complications with getting my wisdom teeth out than anyone should. i won't go into detail but one side of my face is now swollen and once again i look like i just had surgery although its been a good 4 weeks. why me.

i am supposed to be coming up to MD this weekend and hopefully i will still get to if this infection goes away, so i'm really excited about that, and not so much excited to see how obsessed kristen really is with harry potter or what dumb drama may be going on, i'm just looking for a good time at home! so..yeah.

this summer has not been amazing thus far. i need money and every job i get seems to somehow fall through...maybe its because its babysitting and thats not exactly a real job but come on...its easy so i can't complain. i did get significantly darker this weekend by going to the pool saturday and sunday with dev, so thats nice...i am now wondering why i was so stupid to spend 40 bucks on a month of tanning when i can just walk to the pool and layout. i'm an idiot. oh well.

not much else is new. I CANT FREAKIN WAIT TO GO HOME AND SEE EVERYONE! :)

its a done deal

so i am officially done my first year of college and it feels great! sure, i miss some things naturally, but i am glad to not be stressed about schoolwork anymore!!

as i reflect back on my experiences this year and all of the changes i have gone through, i can definitely say it was a new chapter in life. probably one of the biggest adjustments ever. moving away from home was hard but it worked out alright. i wish was closer to home in md, but it was nice having my family so close to my school if i needed them. i made some amazing friends this year along with a boyfriend who is more perfect than ever! so things are good. i managed to increase my gpa second semester and i'm pleased with that. hopefully it will only go up. i'm really excited for next year. again, it will be a new start, i will officially be living on my own in an apartment, and that makes me feel old, but independent nevertheless. i hope i can prove to myself that i can do things on my own and support myself in ways that i never thought i could. i'm going to be paying for a lot more than i'm used to, so saving up this summer is a must. anyway, freshman year went by fast but i can honestly say it was one of the best years ever and i will never forget the memories made in cypress.

onto newer things...
i got my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning. i am on some hydrocodone so that is helping with the pain thank gosh. its not as bad as i thought it would be, but my face does look like that of a chipmunk. ugh. i'm glad its over though. being put to sleep was kind of fun, i'd do it again haha

oh so today i got a new car. well, its used, but you know. my dad picked it out, he found it online, its a bmw. not new so don't jump out of your pants. it will do the job though. so i'm glad i don't have to drive my moms van anymore. seriously, almost anything could be better than that.

well...thats all for now.

never look back cause you won't forget why you cried

so, i'm depressed right now. the room is getting more bare by the second! kristi already left, me and dev took katie to the airport earlier so shes gone...it's so sad. i am going to miss this year. i will do a full reflection blog this weekend probably because i'm the dork i am.

my song for the moment is carrie underwood "i'll stand by you" soooooooo good. haha. and sad. i am glad that jordin stayed on american idol tonight, shes my fav. woo hoo. what else...? i got a job. i don't think i've written about that. i am babysitting this summer, and its not bad at all. the kids are adorable so it will be fun i think. and i need money. i can't wait to go on vacation, i really need one. far away. i'm sick of moving, thats for sure.

well i'm going to bed. i hope i do good on my last final in music tomorrow.

the journey never ends

so i'm sitting here listening to journey's greatest hits and stalking people on facebook when i should be starting the rough draft of my paper which is due tuesday...that or reading the book i have a test on wednesday. but whatever. it can wait as it always does.

this weekend was long and nice and i didnt get much accomplished. i cleaned my room today. i watched this indie movie called little athens last night and it strangely reminded me of my past. i still have to finish watching running with scissors. i still think the book was better though.

i really want school to be over but at the same time i'm sad about it. it's not as bittersweet as last year with graduation and all, but the feeling is familiar and it's that feeling of change that everyone anticipates. i can't believe my first year of college is almost over- it went by so fast. i'll write a lessons learned blog when i really am finished but yeah..um

oh yeah so this weekend i learned how to mow the lawn, and my hands hurt really bad now. my dad said i can make 20 dollars a week if i come home and do it every weekend and as much as i don't really want to do it, i'm going to...because 1. its good excercise 2. i get money 3. in the crappiest way its sort of fun. don't mark my words because i could change my mind.

and its your final last call....

so...HAPPY EASTER! now that's that. i went to church today, and why a million people decide to come on this one day and never again until christmas i do not know but it is annoying. REALLY REALLY bad <-- in my jen from the hills voice. hahaha. oh i am a loser. anyway...

yesterday my parents had an easter egg hunt for us in our house and well that was a lot of fun. we each had ten eggs that were the same color, mine were purple. the first person to find all of theirs got a prize...i thought it was money but instead it was a lottery ticket. WOO. but anywho i ended up winning because duh i am awesome. so that was cool. i opened all of my lovely plastic eggs and i got five bucks in each so that wasn't bad, i can't complain. and i won a dollar on one of my lottery tickets, and 4 dollars on the other one. a good easter yeah...except i didn't get around to dying eggs with my sister even though my mom boiled them and everything...hmm..i wonder how long those things last..i can always do it later.

today sucks because its sunday and that means tomorrow is monday and if i remember already i already wrote a blog that bitches about sundays so i won't go there again but really...why does monday exist. please someone find the answer to my question. and why are exams always on mondays..essay exams on that. gahhhhh. so i have that tomorrow and a math quiz. i really just can't wait until school is over but then i have summer school and la dee da stress stress stress.

oh i just want to say that i randomly found these clips on youtube of "tourettesguy" and they are freakin' hilarious. now i am not making fun of people with tourettes, for all i know this could be fake, but this man is really funny. google him or something. well thats really everything new..

this is a battle....

alright so i found my newest obsession as far as music goes. colbie caillat. she's amazing. search her on myspace. what else..

it's 2:31 pm on sunday and i've accomplished next to nothing today. i have a psych test and a math quiz tomorrow and i have yet to thoroughly study for them. oh well. i will get to that later on i guess. i got up at like 12 something and watched some baby thing they were having on discovery health during commercials of the real world. then i cleaned the bathroom...took a shower...and yeah that's about it thus far. i had the craziest dream last night. my family was going to florida next week but i couldn't go until later..my brother was taking his friend and like i went to their house for some reason to get something and i was out by the pool (that they don't have) and this orca (killer whale) was swimming in it and spitting water at me. then it magically changed into a man. it's all very fuzzy at this point but it was really weird. i've been having really crazy dreams lately i don't know why. i mean crazy like random, strange, psychopathic dreams. maybe it's me.

anyway...april is going to suck..i have something due or a test or quiz to take just about every day of the week. i can't wait for it to just be over. i do but i don't want summer to come. i'll be spending it all in charlotte. i want to go home and see people...i think i'm a little homesick. everytime i think i'm making a real good friend it's like they slip through my fingers in a way. i wish there was just one person here that knows me from before. uhh. so frustrating sometimes. there's alot of things i need to do.

my lip gloss is poppin

if i'm hearing correctly i am hearing a song on the radio right now with some girl saying over and over that her lip gloss is poppin. what the heck is the world coming to now? honestly. lol. this is killing me. christie's friend pam is in the room and she is wondering the same thing. no further comments.

anyway, my hair is wet and its drying so its getting curly and nast. blahhh. tonight there was a cook out for my dorm hall and the dumb people who organized it did not buy enough food for the fatasses that live in this dorm and the dumbasses who came that don't live here!!! so we waited 45 minutes, and i'm not exaggerating, for one burger. there was like no condiments left, etc etc. LAMEEEEEEE. so much for a good free dinner. but anyway...

lets see what else is new? i gotta do my laundry tomorrow. oh today i applied for community college. i am pretty sure everyone gets accepted..and i don't i might kill myself. lol. kidding of course. i do need to figure out what class i want to take this summer though along with my future job. hm..

today me, dev, kristi, and katie went to the gym. we've been going there more lately. it wasn't as crowded as normal today which was nice. i'm not gonna lie i have the worst anxiety about going there due to the high amounts of tan buff guys in there. its slightly embarassing but i am slowly getting over it. i hear commercials on the radio and the sound of the loud tv in the common room blasting dr. phil and no one is out there. i'm getting a headache i think. i am SO glad today is thursday. tomorrow hilary duff will be on tyra. WOO! lol i am a loserrr. i hope this weekend is good, and things begin to feel drama free. there has been some drama around lately...don't ask. i think its mostly over.

lets call him....carlos

so i'm sick....and i guess i felt it coming. so it sucks. this weekend was good though. last week was my spring break and it was boring at first, like i did nothing but sit at home and chill with my mom, go run errands and watch alot of tv. i went running too but thats about it. then thursday i went to meet devlin in burlington, (outside of greensboro) and i went to his house for that night and then friday we went to atlantic beach and stayed in morehead city which was fun. our hotel was nice and we had a view of the pretty water. we went to the beach and walked on it and collected shells...it was cute yeah yeah.haha. we also went to fort macon and saw the old civil war stuff...interesting i guess. we layed in bed at the hotel and watched the acc tourney..then went to dinner at raps and it was good. then saturday we went to the aquarium and that was cool, i love aquariums. it wasn't as good as the baltimore aquarium because there were no dolphins but it was still cool. then we went to this giant pier and just...looked at the water. it was so nice though, i love the beach..it was a nice getaway from charlotte for once.

so now i'm back at school and its only the second day of classes but they suck. it wouldn't be as bad if i wasn't sick. i hateeeeee my life. lol. but anyway...i don't know. uh...i hope i survive the rest of the day.

i've been here many times before

well it's early and usually i'm doing something other than surfing the web...but i was looking up stuff for next weekend. it's officially spring break and seeing as right now i have nothing to do i will excite the eyes of faithful readers and you know who you are. anyhow..
new favorite songs- "breathe me"- sia and "what i wouldn't give"- holly brook
fantastic.

i have no plans for spring break except to hang out at my house, i guess go shopping around charlotte (but that's nothing new) and um...go running? and write a paper but it'll be easy. on thursday i am going to devlin's house in greenville and then friday we're going to atlantic beach overnight and then coming back saturday night and leaving his house sunday for school. i think that'll be fun. i haven't been to the beach in forever and a day. and i love it so i can't wait and pictures will be posted for sure :)

so my grandparents were here for the past three days and visiting with them has been fun. my grandmom and i watched little miss sunshine tonight and it was a cute movie. i guess i might go to bed soon because i have nothing to do and i need to get up early to say goodbye to them.

speaking of goodbyes. they do suck. and unfortunatley i have to admit sadly that my parents were right. i would lose high school friends after i moved to charlotte for good. yes, i do definitely talk to about 3 or 4 regularly but still like people i considered myself to be pretty good friends with..i hardly talk to or if i do it's that fake casual stuff and i hate that more than anything. WHYYYYYY GOD WHYYYYY do people change? lol. but seriously. honestly i do some uh self reflection and i still feel exactly the same as i did when i left. i kind of like that. other than the fact that i have a boyfriend i mean i am still a huge dork/freak that i always have been. i don't feel any more or less mature than i have been in the last two years. maybe that's what you get for moving 3 summers in a row, you learn to deal with change that others are just now experiencing for the first time. hmm. could be. i don't know but i really did wish that i could not be forgotten by people i know that i still love so much. i try and do the myspace/facebooking comments but i don't get hardly in reply as many as i send. oh well. i guess...if you don't want to make the effort to be my friend anymore or if for some reason you don't like me or i did something to you, i'd really just like to be informed about it. haha sorry if that sounds lame but i mean really, i don't like things going unsaid...you just never know.

sometimes i have these huge revelations of life where i feel like i can do anything. not the bipolar type anything, but the anything as in the future of my life, career, etc. whatever. and then i start to doubt myself. and that part sucks. i am resolving this year to be more motivated. yeah, that's about it. now that i've written a book i'm going to end this.

gonna cash you in for a new mercedes

man i wish i could afford a mercedes. ha. funny because i don't even own a car at all right now. that's something that sucks about my life. but there are some good things- like right now i don't have a headache and i found out the culprit of my misery....apparently my sinuses are ridiculously swollen according to my doc. so i have nose spray now. superrrr.

what else is good? thursday me and dev went to ritazza's (school coffee place) to see five times august and i would say they but its only one dude, Brad, and he was amazing. so that was alot of fun. then we went to pizza hut at the sac.

its raining sooo hard out right now. i love rain. i love it but not all the time. i think i have some homework to do....i won't do it though. at least not right now. mmmm i can't wait til summer, but then again i definitely can. i just want to go on vacation. badly. is that really so much to ask!? i miss home too...i want to go home to maryland. it's hard when you don't have a house where your home is though. so yeah. my next large purchase will be sunglasses i've decided. because i tend to squint alot and the sunglasses i have now don't stay on my nose because...its small, or something.

whoa i forgot to tell you i got my haircut. and it feels pretty dang good. i needed it cut terribly. you know that feeling when you're just like holy moly i really need a haircut and it just dawns on you and that feeling doesn't stop until you get it cut, well i feel better now. i'm going to watch tv or take a shower.

new favs, roses, and broken specs

for some odd reason it takes alot for me to sit down and write one of these nowadays. i have to like...be in a mood. it's 9:49 am and surprisingly i am awake. it's friday and i have no classes so you'd think i'd be sleeping which i usually am but i went to bed whoa early last night because i had a migraine, no fun. but i'm better now. anyway...updates on mi vida.

well, january is obviously over and february is more than halfway done with as well. january was an alright month i guess. it went by fast, classes are alright...i think i'm doing better than i did last semester so that's thumbs up. it snowed a little bit a few weeks ago and we got off school that day. it was snow for like two hours before it turned to slush. we saw these guys who made a sled out of cardboard beer boxes and duck tape. clever, and it worked so yeah. haha.

this month has been nice also. last week i had the stomach flu. that came from matt who gave it to kristi who gave it to me. it sucked but i am better now thank gosh. last friday we went to the comedy show at our school because it was free and it was homecoming week so they had all these events going on on campus. but yeah the comedy show was hilarious. the first girl was this white girl from LA and she was funny but a little bit obnoxious. the next was this huge black guy named ronnie jordan from atlanta and he was the best, we almost died laughing. go see his myspace! hah. and last was this guy who was on last comic standing but i don't even remember his name, he acted like he was drunk the whole time..don't ask. anyway that was highlights from last week.

yesterday was valentines day and usually i'm not a big fan but this year it was actually good. devlin and i planned on going to carabba's which is an upscale olive garden but it was an 80 minute wait so we went to good old applebee's instead and it wasn't bad at all. he gave me a single red rose and some chocolates. and later that night he surprised me with a build a bear. and no don't think it's all cliche, because i reallllly wanted a build a bear because i didn't have one and he made it himself after he told me he definitely was not spending 35 bucks on a "stupid stuffed animal" but he did and its so cute :) i'm getting him new shoes which he has yet to pick out.

my new obsession is katharine mcphee lol. i love her new song "over it" yes, i'm lame shut upppp. but for real it's so good. i downloaded like 3 of her songs off itunes because i didn't want the whole cd, plus i'm poor. i'm in the middle of trying to find a job for summer.....which reminds me. me and kristi and jessica and her friend kaitlin signed a lease for these new apartments being built by august and they're going to be sweeeeet. own bathroom, free tanning, pool, jacuzzi, gym. i'm excited for that. oh yeah and my glasses are broken..and i am still wearing them lopsided, i look like a retard. lol. i need to get them fixed.....

and i need to make phonecalls this weekend because i am losing friends far and fast it seems, and well no one really calls me except kelsey and my grandma to see how i'm doing so i'm going to call some peeps because i don't want to lose my friends.... :( hah well that's about it.

i have to pee but i'm going to write this real quick

happy freakin' new year, people!

let's make this year a good one and keep our resolutions and be....all that we can be! hahahaha yeahhhhhhh.



......i'm really gay, i know.

tell it to my face tonight

so i'm pretty freakin' bored. and i have been too lazy to write in this lately, i don't really know why seeing as i've had plenty of time on my hands. oh well. today is the last day of the year and though it shouldn't be a big deal, i make it one but i get sad when anything ends so i suppose it's only natural that i'm upset about the year ending. on the other hand, a new year is about to start and it can only get better from here...hopefully not worse..knock on wood. anyway...

christmas this year was good. for once nobody in my family cried over what they did or didn't get. i pretty much got all i wanted. examples...vera bradley duffel, new a&f winter coat, socks, clothes. and i just spent a little over 300 on a new coach bag that i wanted. so there goes all my christmas money...and more. oh well. it was a really nice bag and they weren't selling online anymore..and it was the last one in the store so...i mean...you know, i had to do what i had to do. lol.

alright back to business...i saved this blog as a "draft" ...because i was not done with it. now that i have some free time and i actually feel like rambling on this, i will continue where i left off. now first things first. it is now a new year. WOO HOO. happy new year, bitches. it's hard to believe it's 2007 already..boy does time fly when you're havin' fun...or not. but yeah the year did go by fast and i'm already a second semester freshman in college. it sucks that we start back up next monday..so a week from today but i think routine is good for me because this whole being on break doing nothing being lazy is only fun for so long. but yeah so i'm a little nervous about that but i'm sure (i hope) i will be just fine. alright let's talk about that for a minute. my fine-ness. not like THAT but i mean my mental and physical health...i suppose you would call that wellness..not fine-ness. anywho...lately i haven't been feeling too good and i haven't really come to a conclusion of why that is. i've been having headaches like it's my job. tension headaches and if you don't know what those are then google it. but they suck. i shouldn't have them right now. especially because i'm doing like all of nothing on break. what's there to be tense about i mean really. but i did a little research online and i found that alot of people that have anxiety and depression suffer from frequent tension headaches so there's part of my solution. arghhh. i ask God like everyday why me? haha. why did i get the shitty genes where like everything goes wrong in my life. okay maybe not everything but that's another part of the problem. i'm basically the biggest pessimist in the world. maybe in the universe, i'm not sure. to me, everything is going to be bad. and honestly, i'm right about 60% of the time, which if you're retarded, is more than half of the time. and then the other 40% of the time i'm wrong, and things turn out fine. but i really do have bad luck and you can ask anyone that knows me. anyway i'm going to see the doctor about my messed up head so i'll let you know how that goes.

okay so since it is a new year, one must make resolutions. kristen and i...resoluted....lol...whatever. we decided that we are going to give up sugar until the end of lent, starting today though. so it's been hard because i love anything sweet but i still haven't broken the..deal. so that's good. i'm excited to see where this goes. hopefully it goes to me being able to fit in my pants better lol. well uh...that's about it. devlin is back at home for a few more days because he didn't get scheduled to work which was the whole reason he came back to charlotte a week early so that sucked for him and i feel bad. but it also sucks he's gone again because that means i'm bored to death. oh well. oh yeah and speaking of work i had an interview at starbucks yesterday...we'll hear the big news tomorrow if i get the job or not.. oh joy. movie time. bye.

phat girlz for lyfe

so tonight i watched the movie phat girlz which i now understand means "pretty hot and thick" haha. i feel them. i mean i know i'm not fat...well...they're level of fat anyway, but i understand how they feel. my family thought it was a bad movie and while it wasn't the best ever i think it still had a good message behind it and had a cute storyline going. anywho, just want to let all the bigger girls out there know that nobody's going to love you until you love yourself. and some people just aren't going to ever be a size 2 because they aren't meant to be. which is my case lol. a 6 yes, but a 2...that's just not in the cards. okay well enough about phat girlz...

today i got up at around 11 and my mom and i went to lunch at panera. i haven't been there in a really long time..since we've been home in MD. so that was good. we also went to hollywood video and i got 2 movies, including phat girlz and click but i haven't watched click yet. then we went to the bank to adjust my savings account and other junk. i watched the tyra show today which has become the new oprah for me lately since oprah is all reruns at the moment. tyra is actually really good. today's episode was reunions and it was a tearjerker but i held it in, surprisingly haha. speaking of tearjerkers....

devlin left yesterday morning to go back to greenville and that leaves me here in charlotte by my lonesome. i miss him uber amounts already :( but he'll be back soon enough i guess. we exchanged christmas presents last friday before we went to dinner and to see "the pursuit of happiness" (pretty good by the way) and he got me this brighton watch that i really wanted...along with some brighton earrings he picked out all by himself! i got him clothes, the da vinci code dvd, pens, chocolate, and this butterfly knife he wanted really badly..hopefully he doesn't end up killing me with it lol (knock on wood) but yeah...gah he's so cute. i don't know what i'd do without him. i'm really very lucky. well...nothing else is really new..i can't wait until christmas though!! oh yeah...song of the week is "some hearts" by carrie underwood. here are the lyrics:

I've never been the kind that you call lucky
Always stumblin' around in circles
but I must've stumbled into something
Look at me, am I really alone with you?
I wake up feeling like my life's worth livin'
Can't recall when I last felt that way
Guess it must be all this love you're givin'
Never knew, never knewit could be like this...
But I guess

Some hearts, they just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts, they just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky, lucky sometimes...

Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me?
You're the last thing my heart expected
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody
Someone who, someone who... makes me feel like this...
Well, I guess

Some hearts, they just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts, they just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky
Sometimes...ooh...

Even hearts like mine
Get lucky, lucky sometimes!
Even hearts like mine!


aww yay i love it. haha it's my life story. alright well for some reason i'm tired so i'm going to bed. night!

baby i wish it were cold outside

So today I had my last final. FINALLY! And it was really, really hard. Also, I was sick this morning so that didn't help. It was terrible and only something like that would happen to me. Infact, I had to leave in the middle of my global exam because I thought I was going to either pass out or puke everywhere. So I went to the bathroom and almost died, but then I gathered up the strength to go back in. After recovering I finished the test as best I could..."I DID MY BEST x 234" ahahaha (Dane Cook). I'm really happy it's all over now. I packed up a few of my things and my dad picked me up to come home! WOO HOOOOOOO.

So I am home at the moment and I'm waiting for Devlin to get here because we're going to dinner for no reason then we are going to see "The Pursuit of Happiness" which I am uber excited to see. I'll let you know how it goes. But yeah....umm...besides that things went alright today. I am SO glad that exams and the first semester is over with. It's kind of bittersweet. I am going to miss being at school...but not going to school...get it? haha. I do wish I was going home to MD again because I want to see everyone..but I don't think that's going to happen. *tear* Oh well.....I need to get ready to go out now. Bye!

boring nights with a touch of mascara

some day those scribble lines will be straight. what exactly does this lyric from "the blue roses" by rookie of the year mean? hmm....the world may never know. kidding. my take on it is that things will fall into place even if they are messed up now. haha. i don't know why i am writing this. i just upgraded my blog to some new blogger account with google thing and it's pretty cool i'm not gonna lie. so i thought i would start the new layout with a new blog. oh i'm so clever. i was reading kristens entry earlier and she said she tripped in her clogs and i thought that was hilarious. you just have to picture it and you will see. but anyway...

dev is at work and i'm at school just...hangin out. nicola and chris just watched the new dane cook vicious circle dvd me and dev got. that man completes my life. lol. oh man i am not kidding. now i am sitting here at my computero and christie is drawing stuff for her art class i'm listening to hilary duff christmas cd. speaking of my GIRL ahaha dude hilary duff "stuff " (her brand of like...clothes/accessories etc for girls) is coming out with an electronic toothbrush that plays "wake up" when you brush your teeth for 2 minutes. how amazing is that. i HAVE to get it. and elaborating on things i want, or am getting, my mom wrapped all the xmas presents already and put them under our tree. how rude. i like when santa comes in and there's new presents than the ones we already can see before xmas. she's so lazy errrrrrr. no spirit i tell ya!

today i had to present for freshman seminar my powerpoint on a career of my choice and i picked event planning. i just read off my slides the whole time and probably looked like a dumbass. i talk wayyy too fast but i don't really notice it until i'm done and i'm like out of breath. lol. i never want to take public speaking. that terrifies me. something else that teriffies me is the fact that NC may never get snow and that pisses me off because i am getting a new winter coat for christmas and i really want to wear it. i miss the snow. this whole living in the "south" may not be a permenent lifestyle change for me i'm thinking. who knows. i can't wait until the next season of laguna beach though, or the hills. random thought.

i had the most insane dream/nightmare last night. and one part of it kept reoccuring over and over....3 times to be exact. however, it would change everytime. basic summary of the dream went as follows: me and devlin go to a tanning salon but it's really weird and it's in a perfume store. you only get to tan for 5 minutes and you stand in little stalls that look like dressing rooms and its really uncomfortable. then we go to leave and the owner is the lead singer dan from this providence, but only for a little while. there's this other guy who is like obsessed with him and somehow this girl who i used to run with in high school is there. she tries to save me sort of. all i remember really is weird bits and pieces where in that salon/perfume store the dude and the girl i ran with are fighting and he is trying to kill her. i don't really know how this all ties together, i am forgetting parts that i remembered when i woke up but all i know is that i was freaked out and couldn't go back to sleep. i was sweating like i just ran a marathon and it was nast. so i just got up and took a shower. but yeah....creepy. well thats all the news i've got. cept that i took my pop culture final tonight and it was lame.

if roses didn't have petals then...what?

so i'm sitting here listening to the old this providence cd and i'm liking it alot, it's alot better than their new stuff...but yeah. i decided to listen to this instead of jamisonparker because kristen said she was. i don't know today was a really boring day. i got really stressed thinking my paper for freshman seminar was due today so i didn't go to any classes....shh! oh well. but ok now the paper is due wednesday so i ended up not doing anything this afternoon. gosh i am the picture next to the word lazy in the dictionary i swear. i need to stop procrastinating and just do things when i am supposed to! i know i knowwww.

i made a new calendar on my whiteboard for december since obviously november is over. i have this whole christmas section in green and red and i'm not gonna lie it looks pretty dang cool. i have a whole line that says HO! HO! HI! i'm really gay. lol. anywho...i really miss home already..i mean maryland. it was a really good thanksgiving up there by the way. i got to see almost every one of my friends and it was nice. we had some good times: making cookies, target, belk, firetruck rides, movies, parties, donut connection, and much more. but yeah home is such a breath of fresh air i guess you could say. i am still excited to go home to my house in charlotte though just to hangout. i love sitting around doing...nothing and staring at my tree lit up and looking lovely. oh and i can't wait to wrap presents and boy do i have alot to wrap i think i spent like 200 bucks on xmas presents this year. i need a job, but i don't want one..and i don't plan on getting one although i do need money and i would like my parents to stop bitching at me to get one. ughhh. we'll see.

it was devlin and i's (that's not the right wording but who cares) 3 month on the 30th and on friday we went out to uno's and ate and before we came back in the dorm he surprised me with 3 roses. he's so cuuuuuute. and i'm so lameeeeee. but yeah so i thought i'd share that with you all :)

wednesday is my last day of class. hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the jimmy eat world version of last christmas is the best song ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goodnight kiddies.

nothing is real i'm above it all, i'm hanging on

okay so i'm listening to that incredibly annoying song called "hanging on" by the everfamous cheyenne. aka the annoying blonde girl who had her own tv show on mtv. yeah her. well anyway, for some reason i can't get enough of her song and i hate it. oh well.

well i just got back from freshman seminar a little while ago and man that class is pointless but it's kind of the reason i like it, or..don't mind it that much. but yeah..then i went and got some food at the the best place ever, mondo subs. i got this chicken thing on wheat bread. it was pretty good. i have decided that i like my sandwiches toasted if its a cold day. what else...

my hands are cold and sweaty but what else is new? i only have one class tomorrow which is math at 2, and then i'm going home to pack and me and the fam are leavin to go to MD on wednesday morning, wooo hoooo! i am mega excited for this trip minus the fact that on monday when i get back i have a map quiz in global which i need to study for or else i'll like fail the class and we wouldn't want that now would we? my mom is freakin' making me apply at starbucks as my summer job because it's in the shopping center right by my house. lame but i don't know...we'll see.

i'm really lonely right now even though this is a normal feeling seeing as well i've been pretty much alone in a sense my whole life. not as in i'm an orphan or something and don't have family and friends. but i usually spend like 85% of my time with Devlin now and he just got a job at the Polo store so now he's working and I'm bored in my room. I guess you don't little things like this until they occur to you. But yeah anyway I guess i'll like...watch tv....or do some homework. ugh. happy thanksgiving everyone!

home alone and in need of a haircut

so it has come to my attention that i have not written in this stupid thing for like a month. well, half a month i guess. yeah because its the 15th and i need to change my contacts now. anyway, i feel bad about myself because kristen keeps up with hers so well. now i have to do one of those stupid summary posts because my life is passing by and you don't know what is happening to me. that sounded weird but whatever.

i have a pop culture test today and i really don't feel like studying quite yet although i should. it's pop culture i mean really...but i still want a good grade. i wrote this 10 page paper for my semester project in there and i'm not gonna lie, i think it was wicked good. i want it back and i better have gotten a good grade on it. onto other things, i really need a haircut. my bangs are far beyond what should even be categorized as bangs, and they need a cutting. ew. i hate split ends. also....my room is pretty clean and we have inspection later tonight so i need to clean even more. oh and aw man laguna beach finale is on tonight, how sad. haha. oh well...my wednesday nights will have to do with just one tree hill now. laskdnfsdfnsdf

gosh i cannot wait to go home, not to like my house i mean, because that's here in charlotte, but i mean home like MD. we're going there for thanksgiving and i'll be there all break. i'm so excited to see everyone you don't even know. one week! ahhh. :)

before i go study i should tell you about my giving blood misfortune. so i make two appointments for me and devlin to donate blood last wednesday at 2:30 for the red cross right. i get there and everythings going as planned. this time around i actually have good blood pressure so i'm good to go. i sit in the chair, yadda yadda, so i'm pumping blood into the little capri sun bag and having the time of my life when my hand turns purple and numb..i thought this may be normal until i start feeling really dizzy and cold and sweaty. yeah, apparently not a good sign. my vein wouldnt't give anymore blood so they're moving the needle around and telling me to squeeze on the little hand bar thing hard and it still doesn't get anything flowing. by the third time they called it quits on me after i almost passed out. that was scary. so now they can't use my blood, they have to "use it for research" and i think that's just a nice way of saying you didn't fill the whole bag so we have to throw it away...but who knows. i swear this kind of thing would only happen to me. i'm jealous because it was devlin's first time donating and he was fine. i'm still going to let them try again on me sometime next year. it'll be my life's goal.

damn. it's time to study.

this is what lamewods do

So we have this assignment in freshman seminar. It's a journal entry, and we generally turn them in once a week. Normally they're stupid things like How have you changed since you have been in college? This week it was a free write. FREE WRITE. I suppose that means you can write about anything. So I wrote mine..formal-ish blog style. I'm just going to copy and paste it here as an update. Here it is. Enjoy.

"For some reason free writes are always so confusing to me. I’m free…to write…whatever? To me that just leaves so many possibilities I can’t choose what to write about because I enjoy writing so much. For this entry, however, I think I’m just going to write as if it was a blog. A blog is an online journal, and I have two of them which I write in frequently. So…here it goes.
My thoughts right now are that I am really stressed and I need to get things done, but at the same time I am getting this journal done with so really I am doing work and should be proud of myself. It is the ten page paper Nicola and I have due Wednesday night that is killing me inside. We have not really started but it’s alright. The paper is for our Pop Culture class and we are writing it together on women and body issues influenced by the media. There is a ton of information on that subject so we should be fine. Also, I can ramble like it’s my job so I think we should be able to get a good length on the paper if I am writing. Anyway, another thing that is stressing me out is Wednesday because we are getting back our map quizzes and exams in Dr. Moore’s class. I am very nervous about this even though I know I studied and should get decent grades; it’s just the anticipation of not knowing that is causing me terrible anxiety. I always get like this though and I should know better than to worry because things will always work themselves out but I can’t help but feel so nervous about every little thing going on in my life. I just finished making my calendar for November so that should help me stay organized in my schoolwork. Speaking of the calendar for November, we have Thanksgiving break coming up and I am ecstatic because my family and I are going back to Maryland and I am going to get to see all of my best friends who I have not seen since August so that will be a lot of fun and I cannot wait!
Something that is also on my mind right now is how much I miss my past. I don’t really miss every little thing but I do miss some things that would just be weird doing or obsessing over now, yet…I still am. I know I am eighteen now and I am supposed to be mature or whatever but honestly I am so in love with the Disney channel. I just got the new Hannah Montana soundtrack and it is so awesome. I downloaded Jesse McCartney’s new album and I am even more excited about that. I used to be overly obsessed with the boy band Dreamstreet when I was in middle school. Jesse was a part of that band so I have been attached ever since. My roommates and my boyfriend think I have serious problems but really I don’t think it is that weird. Some people love the History channel until they die, and I think it’s alright if I loved the Disney channel until I die. But back to Jesse McCartney, I am really, really excited that I got his album and I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight because I will be listening to it and trying to memorize all of the lyrics. I know I am pretty much the biggest dork ever…or at least on this campus but it’s alright."

Yeah....I know that was gay and you probably cannot believe that I actually turned that into a professor but really..it's just freshman seminar. You really can't take this class seriously, plus our teacher is nice. I'm sure she's laughing...hopefully anyway. Well yeah, that's about all that's new. Adios.

histrionics, hammers, and hot flashes

well i don't exactly know where to start because like a hobo on crack i forgot how to write. specifically, i forgot how to write blogs which is terrible because gosh i really like expressing myself through this creative writing site. uh...but anyway yeah so i guess i've just gotten caught up in things going on around here lately and haven't written. be prepared to read what would sound like an earful. of nonsense.

so hmm..things are gooooooooood. i had to drop a class so now i feel dumb cause i'm not a fulltime student anymore but what can you do? last week was my birthday and that was a good time. i went to cary, NC where my suitemates are from. i stayed with nicola that weekend. on friday we chilled and then went to her friend Amanda's dorm at NC state which was cool, then we went to an 80s party then finally when it was about midnight it was my birthday and we all went to "the office" which is a club, and danced and such. it was fun. not as upscale as i guess i was expecting since all i have seen are clubs on tv but yeah lol. oh well. the next morning i slept in and nic had to go to work so kristi and her friend ashley came and picked me up around lunchtime and we went to this good mexican place called la rancheria. this is where it gets good. so i'm just sitting there with my back to the door and then all of a sudden they look at each other and smile and i'm like "wtf?" i turn around and guess who is there with a dozen roses!? DEVLIN. yeah and this is only so exciting because he wasn't supposed to be there on my bday cause he went home and had all these plans and things to do at home and they all led me to believe he would not be there. but so that was really sweet. the rest of the day we walked around the parade of homes and looked at million dollar houses in cary. then we had my birthday dinner and nic's mom made enchiladas and stuff, it was a whole mexican fiesta needless to say. then we had cake and ice cream and all the kids were there that go to uncc that live in cary too. later we went to some nc state frat party which was a school girl themed thing. yeah...hah. interesting. dev and i didn't stay long but i DID run into none other than RJ Allen, one of my best friends from 7th grade. I hadn't seen that kid in like 5 years. so that was really cool. besides that we just went to bed then the next day i went home to greenville with devlin and met his family and all. that was really fun too. finally on the way home to charlotte on monday, joey picked us up and guess what happened? well you probably have no idea but so yeah the tire just like all of a sudden blew up basically and we had to sit there on the side of the highway until the cop took him to buy a new one since the spare wouldn't fit. how lame. hah. that was adventure.

so my birthday was good. on friday my family and i and devlin went to the macaroni grill and then had my family party and that was funnnn. i got a new vera bradley bag, she's the man dvd, money, itunes card, clothes, and some other crap. oh yeah i forgot to write that my other surprise from devlin was getting my belly button pierced. yeah him and kristi told me we were going out to eat. yeah, that wasn't true. we went to this tattoo place. talk about wanting to shoot myself. i was really not ready for that but i did it anyway so i wouldn't be a party pooper and here i am still alive so i guess it wasn't so bad. all in all good 18th birthday. i can't believe i'm 18. gosh i feel so old and wrinkly ewwww. whatever its just a number lol disney is still my fav channel even though they changed disney 411 to disney 365 and it sounds retarded when they chant it but whatever.

i have some homework to do but i don't feel like it and that's not good. i need someone to kick me in the butt and make me do it. errr. do you know karate? cause your body's kickin! ahaha man i love that commerical. and the new skittles one that has that really annoying rabbit that just makes that terrifying noise haha. kills me everytime. i wish my blogs were as interesting as kristen's but hers are only good cause she writes like everyday and i could be more random and funny if i wrote everyday but instead i'm dumb and forget and then my entries end up being summaries of my life events. but its alright cause no one reads these and i just do it so i can look back and remember myself what happened because dude i have a horrible memory. i need to work on that. its getting colder here but i like it.

allergies, headaches and animal planet

well i basically suck at life. i haven't kept up writing like i said i would. i don't know i guess i just forget. anyway today is saturday and it's over now which sucks because that means its almost sunday and i'll have to do work and get ready for monday aka a school day. darn.

so this last week was a decent one. it cooled down a little here and that was nice, but when it warmed up the last 2 days of course the ac went out time and time again and it was so hot. but we're good now. i think it's going to thunderstorm tomorrow. i love storms. yay. so this week...i skipped math on thursday. that was the first whole class i ever skipped. it's not like we do anything in there anyway. whatev. oh and i got a realllly shitty grade on my first global connections exam. let's not even go there. ughh. hmm...i had a bad migraine the other night and that sucked horribly. i've also been sneezing alot i think its allergies because of the changing seasons but who knows. haha.

dev and i went to see jackass 2 today and it was fucking....crazy. so fucking crazy. whoa. they are insane. but it was funny as shit so yeah. then we had dinner and my house and that was just...lovely. anywho...what else was i going to say...i don't know. i bought donnie darko so i think i might watch that..or just go to bed. i have alot of studying to do tomorrow. sdjfsodifhasd well night.

oh and i saw how crocodiles have sex on animal planet today. that was interesting.

chocolate and ribs at the homefront

so i'm at home now. like that's news, what weekend haven't i gone home? i mean it is only 10 minutes away but still. it kind of sucks that my school is mostly a commuter school and alot of people are always driving and leaving campus all the time so weekends aren't the most exciting part of the week always. anyway i did my laundry and i went to walmart so i got a bunch of stuff i needed/wanted. we had good dinner too. better than crossroads and rdh needless to say.

so i'm obsessed with the song hero/heroine by boys like girls. i don't know why. it's a cute song, but yeah. i watched this uber weird movie today called the squid and the whale. dude i freakin' love indie movies, the sundance ones, the ones that noooo one ever rents cause there's only like one copy and plus people think they're just weird but for real they are always awesome and have a really weird story line and...point to them. anyway this one was about a conventional fucked up family in the 80's. you should rent it.

i miss high school. i know that's random but i was talking to heather last night and we reminicsed (sp) and talked about what we were up to now. i guess i moved on in life pretty..what's the word..smoothly? but when i think about the fact that high school is over it's pretty upsetting and it makes me depressed. i watch laguna beach and i miss the stupid drama haha i mean it's stupid alright but i mean come on, if those were the least of your problems than you should consider yourself lucky. i don't know, it's just the little things i miss. and definitely my friends. i wish that when i came "home" like i am now, it was to my actual HOME aka smc. oh well what can ya do?

we had a really high water bill ($93.41) this month and it's not my fault. i don't even live here.

rewinding thoughts and violins

awh, remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight. i don't know where that came from. maybe uh, this song. anyway. i decided that since i'm not doing anything i might as well waste my time sitting here on my computer writing. i want to write twice a week. that really shouldn't be that hard.

at the moment my roommates are painting their nails and devlin (bf) is watching football. umd v. wvu to be more specific and umd is getting beat. badly. that sucks....ahah. steph said it's humiliating that it's on tv. guess she didn't know. i wish that uncc had a football team, i don't know why they don't. stupid. oh well. it's not like i'm really into football anyway but i enjoy having a sporting event to go to in the fall that's actually entertaining. basketball should be fun this winter though.

today i went to the dentist. i haven't yet had my teeth cleaned here in nc since i moved here this summer. they did a good job. but i am super upset. i have my first cavity. i'm still in shock, and they haven't filled it yet but i'm scared. they told me i need to floss more. goshh what a pain, i mean really, who flosses on a daily basis, be honest. i know you don't so shut up. and if you really do, then...you're weird ok. anywho, that was a load of fun. after the dentist my dad dropped me off at school and i had to go to freakin math class and listen to my african math teacher, and when i say african i mean african, he is actually from africa like accent and all. he's pretty funny actually. anyway we reviewed really easy and boring stuff and that only lasted half an hour, and that was my only class of the day so that was a relief. tonight was italian night at crossroads which is cafe on campus. it was pretty good. i'm full. now i'm sitting here doing nothing. and boy do i hate homework that you have to do online. ugh. gag me with a spoon as someone i know would say. hahah. i don't know.

the fan is blowing right in my face and it's making my eyes dry...this is the end of this blog. until next time....

big cities, short periods of time, and cool weather

not only is it right or well...not right but...nice and well i can't think of the correct words really. but i think i should at least write a new blog today because first of all its 9/11 (06 of course) and also because i haven't updated in like...quite some time and that's not acceptable! well to me it isn't. i want to be able to remember these days. as lame as that sounds. but anyway. today is probably a really sad and memorable day for some and i'll be praying for them. enough said. umm...

what's new....not a whole whole lot. i have been sick for awhile but i think i'm finally getting better. i had a cough. it sucked. also...went home last weekend. it was boring but at least i got to see the fam, not that i don't see them like every week anyway, oh well. the days have been passing by pretty fast now. things are getting into routine and before we know it i bet it will be my birthday and more breaks from school. which is good. i can't wait til i turn 18. then again i can because i'll be legal and there's both pros and cons to that. no excuse for acting childish anymore haha. i'm still going to watch disney channel.

today we had a map quiz in global connections which i felt thoroughly prepared for, but i stil think my nerves got the best of me and i screwed up a few. i still think i'll get a decent grade and that's all that matters really. now i just have to get down to business in my other classes. i hate this whole reading a million pages. i mean i don't mind reading i really don't. i just have to like force myself to do it. i procrastinate too much. that's going to be one of my new year's resolutions. ahhh all american rejects "dance inside" just came on my ipod hah i love this song. anywho. we went to another frat party on...saturday. it was boring. the only reason anyone went was for free beer and i don't drink beer and anyway i was DD so that worked out. blah. i have some things to do but i don't feel like it. i think we're going to the gym later. we learned in freshman seminar today that you need exercise in college no matter how healthy you think you are hah. i suppose that's true. i could use some extra endorphins...and the burning of some calories. i don't think i've gained weight since i've been here though. we're mostly too lazy to get food so we just starve or eat little snacks around the "house" which is what we like to call the suite. umm anyway i can't think of much else going on. school is going good for the most part which i'm happy to say. me and the boy are doing good too. yeah the bf. if you didn't know, now you do. call me if you want more details bitches. well i'm getting sick of this at the moment. i promise i'll start writing more often. later.